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Toileting issues I’m at my wits end!

1 reply

Anon0mum · 25/11/2022 10:41

⚠️TW: talks of pop⚠️

My 6 year old has been having issues with toileting. At around 2 he just refuse to go the toilet and would withhold. That lead to regular accidents and spending so A LOT of money on underwear.

Hes now 6 and I’m still having issues. Admittedly he isn’t as bad as he was before but it’s still happening.

We have tried everything over the past few years, we have given rewards when he went, I have told him off when he has had accidents (I mean I have a stern chat with him not screaming at him), I have made his clean himself and his clothing, when he has gone to the toilet we have called family members and had a big celebration and made it a big happy thing.

We were under paediatric continence, we have been through regular periods of disimpaction (filling him with laxatives until he has diahorrea (however you spell it 🤣) to make sure his bowels and intestines are clear), we had plans in school to make sure he went to toilet in school and we made sure he had a routine at home. You name it I think I have done it.

We had a period where he did really well and for about 6 months he didn’t have any accidents. He can do it and we know he can.

We have now gone back to having accidents again. He isn’t having massive ones but they are big enough. We have gone back to getting him clean himself and his clothes, we can constantly reminding him to go. And despite that he still says he doesn’t need to go and then you can smell it.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. He is starting to get to the age where he is going to be bullied at school if he does this at someone home or if he does it at school, and I don’t want him to get bullied.

Please had anyone else been through this? Have you got any advice?

Thank you!

From a desperate mum

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
endofthelinefinally · 25/11/2022 10:47

It sounds as if you have stopped the disimpaction and maintenance regimens too soon. Maintenance treatment needs to continue for at least twice as long as the problem has existed. So if he is now 6, you are looking at 12 years. It is better to accept that now and get a strict routine in place.
This is a family problem and you need to look at all possible factors and the whole family needs to be on board.
The ERIC website and help line are a very good resource to try if you aren't already using them.
Children who suffer with this problem are often in constant pain and anxiety, even if they have learned to cover it up.
It can be managed effectively but it is a long game.

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