Help- Broken!

[Goldi321]

I’ve been asking for help on here since my baby was born- she’s always been a crap sleeper but initially it was only in the day and she slept amazing overnight.

She is now 9 months and waking every 2 hours overnight, sometimes more. I thought it was just a phase but this has been going on for MONTHS now. I’m a broken woman and really struggling to be the mum I want to be. She was napping in the day a bit more, by that I mean 2 maybe 45 minute naps, an hour if I was lucky. Only in the pram with the sleepshade on and rocket to keep it moving once asleep. I dream of these 2 hour naps that other mums talk about.

I have no family support. DH works long hours with a long drive so I can’t keep him awake at night as it’s not safe. And because it has only ever been me settling her she screams for me anyway.

she’s basically living in my bed now. I put her in the cot at 7pm and currently she will wake screaming every 30-45 mins and I resettle her upstairs until I want to tear my hair out and end up bringing her downstairs so I get some evening with DH and adult company.

shes breastfed, 3 good meals a day, dinner at 5, bath at 6,bed by 7 every night.

what the fuck am I doing wrong because I can’t continue like this? I’m starting to really resent her and I hate feeling like this.

My dd was a bad sleeper from the start and at about 6 months i started to do gentle sleep training. It was not easy but i managed it by myself as DH was hopeless at putting her to sleep (he helped at the weekend but kust did as he was told by me!). Have you thought of trying aleep training?

My daughter was a crap sleeper too, we had to bedshare until 15 months when I finally night-weaned her - but then my husband took over the nights. She would sometimes sleep through by about 2yo but still wakes a couple of times now at nearly 3.
It was always going to be a last resort for us because I had support but if I was in your situation I'd have to consider some kind of sleep training, there are a lot of different methods.
Really hope you find something that works, or that she snaps out of it asap, it really does drive you mad

My baby wakes all through the night too, he's 8 months but always been like it, never once had a long stretch. He's refluxy and I suspect night weaning might help (also eats well like yours). I'm struggling to tackle that as I have an older child who needs to sleep, but don't know if it might be of use to you.

I just accepted that DS wanted to sleep with me. I moved into the spare room with infant ds for the six months it took to get him to sleep in his cot rather than in contact with me. It was the only way our household was going to stay sane.

You’re not doing anything wrong, some babies are just not good sleepers!
I can count on one hand the number of times my 2 year old DS2 has slept through in his own room! It’s rough, and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but it is a phase that will pass (I remind myself of this most days when I’m at work with my eyes stinging from tiredness wondering what we did differently as DS1 was always a good sleeper!). You could try some sleep training but otherwise I think you just have to accept it and not fight against it. Maximise sleep by co-sleeping, feed back to sleep if it’s the quickest way to get back to sleep and make sure you get a lie or time to nap when your DH is home