Mum of newborn needing encouragement

[Lozzy865]

Hello,

I'm a mum, just had second child and its been a rollercoaster ride already. My oldest is 8 so it's a while since I've done this but remembering just how tough each stage is!! Could really do with some words of encouragement. My friends seemed to cope so much better with parenthood in general the first time around, apart from one who like me wasn't afraid to share with me just how tough she found it all! She moved away a long time ago so we lost touch unfortunately. I'm poorly, baby's poorly, husband purely exhausted trying to look after us all!!! It seems to be a never ending carousel of one thing after the other!

Hey!

Congratulations on your little one. I've only got the one but she's 14 months now and we both have covid.. so remembering how tricky it is when they're poorly and when they're little.

My only words of advice is to repeat back something you said about you and your friend being the only two who were open and honest about the less glamorous bits..! It isn't that everyone else is coping so much better. Its that they just put on that outward "oh it's all sunshine and rainbows" because they don't feel they can say the rest for whatever reason.
I've got two main groups of friends with similar aged children. One where we share all the picture perfect moments and nothing negative. And the other one where we openly discus the hard times and make comments like "what in God's name is wrong with this kid and why wont they sleep?!".

The latter is the most supportive of course. Just knowing that others fine it hard, others have the awful days and others have those "what in the HELL" moments, or days, or weeks...!
It's so so hard, it's relentless, it's knackering. It's wonderful and it's magical. It's all of those things. But when both or you are unwell it's mostly the first half..

You're doing amazingly. Survive the storm is all I can say. Its easy to forget but it does get better. Being poorly when your baby is poorly is the creme of the crop of crap!!

You're doing amazing. First 3 months are a write off for everyone- don't compare yourself to others.

At about 4-5 months you, the baby and the family will find your "groove" and things will get easier. It's just so manic and unsettling at the beginning but it does settle down.