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2 year old headbutting/scratching/hitting

2 replies

slurpee · 24/11/2022 14:14

Wondering if anyone can help with this. My 2 year old (August baby) has been going through a hitting/scratching/headbutting stage for a few months but it has really escalated in the last few days.

Anytime I need to stop him from doing something he shouldn't be (by taking an item away for example) he will headbutt me really hard until I restrain him, then he will scratch me anywhere he can reach. He appears wild and almost desperate to claw at me. If I go out of his reach he will headbutt the nearest hard surface really hard and make himself cry. This doesn't last long but is happening constantly all day. I will always stay calm and say no firmly, we don't hurt mummy, ouch that hurts mummy, etc. I've also tried telling him when he's calmed down that it makes me sad when he hurts mummy, but nothing works and the behaviour is just getting worse.

He doesn't really talk yet, he has a fair number of words and can understand a lot so I'm sure he can understand me. I know a lot of this is frustration because he's a late talker but I just don't know how to deal with it.

Can anyone suggest a different strategy? I'm not sure about a naughty step, don't think he would understand and I would feel like I was abandoning him.

Honestly, I feel like my child hates me (I know he doesn't but I feel it anyway). He won't behave like this (not to that extent anyway) with his dad or anyone else who looks after or spends time with him. I know this is meant to mean that he feels safe with me to show his worst behaviour but it's really negatively affecting the time I spend with him.

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DashDotCom · 24/11/2022 14:29

My almost two year old went through a phase of head butting the floor when he was upset recently. I read a good tip on here as when you can see it about to happen distract with literally anything. I went with “OH LOOK LOOK LOOK AT THE SPIDER/LIGHT/BALL/Cat etc (literally any random novelty)” and then just be all enthusiastic about that. Weirdly after failing for a good week or 2 he stopped completely after I did that about 3 times.

regarding him hurting you, again, I’ve had glimmers of this happening and followed another tip I read of just put them down. Literally that, no reaction of any sort, nothing. Apparently even a negative “telling off” reaction is enough to keep them going with it.

It will pass though

slurpee · 24/11/2022 19:04

@DashDotCom Thank you, these are good suggestions! I often wonder if me giving him any kind of attention is just prolonging the whole thing. I do try and distract but probably not hard enough.

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