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I just need to vent - DH not helpful

5 replies

FTM2B1 · 24/11/2022 06:09

Dh and I have taken a trip in the UK with our LO who is 6 months old. A car journey that usually takes 4 or 5 hours took just over 7 as we wanted to make sure we had plenty of breaks for our LO to be comfortable. The journey went well, LO was content in the hotel room and slept well in her travel cot. She usually wakes 3 times a night amd if she needs fed, I BF her. She woke up more tonight. On the 4th wake up at around half 4, I woke DH up and asked him to help settle her so I could try and get a little sleep. I said she might be hungry so to give her a 4oz bottle and take her out her sleeping bag because the room is very warm (23 with window open!). He made up a 6oz bottle, LO took 5oz or so and seemed content. Then instead of rubbing her back to burp her, he put her back in the sleeping then proceeded to rub her tummy??? Why??

She became unsettled and started whiny crying so I said to him she needed winded properly. He picked her up and she was wriggling around so i took her, winded her properly and she burped. Just as i was about to take her out the sleeping bag, she had a massive sick up. Looked like she'd thrown up the entire feed. In the past hour she has had 5 huge sick ups. She is not a sicky baby so this is very unusual for her. In between sicks, she seems absolutely fine other than obviously tired.

DH has managed to rock her back to sleep and put her back in the travel cot but I'm now wide awake and worried to fall asleep in case she is sick in her sleep.

I'm just so annoyed that despite having successfully settled her in the night when I've needed back up before he has so royally screwed this one up and poor LO has suffered. He's been saying things like "oh this is daddy's fault", "daddy's so sorry" and now she's settled asking if I'm alright and need a hug. He feels guilty and he probably wants a hug and to be told its okay but I'm cross so I'm not.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Merryclaire · 24/11/2022 08:19

You think this is a big deal because you’re so tired, but it’s not really.

We all get stuff wrong - consider that you wouldn’t appreciate him being so mad at you then next time you get something wrong.

I chastised DH for forgetting to do something the other week, but then did the same thing myself a few days later! Tiredness is a bitch.

Let it go - I’m sure he’s learned his lesson.

Thavic · 24/11/2022 08:28

Merryclaire · 24/11/2022 08:19

You think this is a big deal because you’re so tired, but it’s not really.

We all get stuff wrong - consider that you wouldn’t appreciate him being so mad at you then next time you get something wrong.

I chastised DH for forgetting to do something the other week, but then did the same thing myself a few days later! Tiredness is a bitch.

Let it go - I’m sure he’s learned his lesson.

This.

FTM2B1 · 24/11/2022 08:53

You are completely correct which is why I had my rant here and didn't have a go at him.

We have all had a nap, LO is her usual bright and happy little self and we are off out for breakfast.

DH has had that cuddle now - had been guilty, poor soul.

Thank you for the sense of perspective and reality check though! X

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MolliciousIntent · 24/11/2022 16:52

You're being incredibly unreasonable. He didn't royally screw up anything, your baby didn't settle. Sometimes they don't. It was 4.30am. the other day when DD woke me at that time I got her out of her PJs on autopilot because I was half asleep.

The guilt he's feeling suggests that you have form for completely blowing these things out of proportion and piling on him, which really isn't OK.

whattodo1975 · 24/11/2022 16:58

I thought this was going to be a thread about how he just lay asleep in bed and made not attempt to look after child in the night.

He feels guilty and he probably wants a hug and to be told its okay but I'm cross so I'm not.

This line would suggest to me you both need to toughen up a bit.

Babies are sick, it happens, her being unsettled a bit is probably just down to being in a different location.

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