Nervous about nursery and BF baby

[Oscardoggy]

Hi everyone, I’m just looking for a bit of advice. My second son has just turned 10 months old and has been EBF since birth. He still won’t take a bottle or a dummy (I’ve tried everything!)

In January when he turns 1 I’ll be heading back to work and he’ll be doing a full day with my mum on a Monday, then also 8-12 at nursery 3 mornings a week.

I’m so worried because his only form of comfort is feeding! If he gets upset or needs a nap when he’s not with me, I don’t know what anyone can do to calm him down/get him to sleep. It breaks my heart to think of him so upset with no comfort at all.

Does anyone have any ideas of what might help? There’s 8 weeks to go before I have to leave him, so there is a bit of time to try things.

My first son would take a bottle and loves dummies, so we didn’t have the same issue.

Thanks so much in advance x

Youre mum raised you and she will be able to comfort your baby without your boobs as will the trained nursery staff!

When you aren’t there smelling of milk they will find other comfort then.

My DD was a boob monster and wouldn't take a bottle either and my God we tried all sorts! Turns out she was happy to wait for me (12 hours shifts including nights) and breastfed happily until she was 4 and did without when I wasn't there.

Whoever is caring for your little one will work out a way of comforting them so try not to worry too much about that

You don't need to introduce a bottle or a dummy now. He will work out how to get comfort from cuddles from your Mum and nursery. Both of mine were bottle refusers who breastfed a lot and were fine. DD1 at a childminder at 7 months (I fed her on my lunch break as she was so young and only just starting with solids) and DD2 for whole days at 14 months in nursery and at a childminder. Both continued to breatfeed morning and evening for a long time.

My younger one is now 3 and still BF, has never had a bottle, but has been absolutely fine in nursery. They will find their own way to comfort him.

The only thing I would suggest is that you get your DH to take him for the odd day or few hours to just start gently easing him into being away from you

You and your Mum need to do some trial runs before you go back to work.

That means, you leave Mum baby and some formula bottles alone together to find themselves. While you are out of sight, out of hearing, miles away.

They'll be fine.

You may not need to give nursery/your mum formula at all - mine just preferred to wait for boob once they were over 9 months or so. Up till then they would occasionally take a little milk in a cup.

I think you can expect some difficulties initially. You need to try and get the baby used to veing away from you. Why don't you start nursery now so it's not such a big deal when you start back at work? You can go through any teething issues then and you'll be around if it's not going well. I really don't think it's wise to leave it until the day you go back, that's will be very stressful. I've got to be honest, I look after children and the ones who come and have been breastfed, rocked to sleep and not put down til the day they start are very difficult to settle. It's not fair on them to be thrown in at the deep end so to speak. I'd really consider starting now, even a couple of hours at a time.

My ebf baby girl started nursery at 7 months, 4 full days. She's almost 10 months now and still won't take a bottle of pumped milk or formula. She drinks water and eats very well, and cluster feeds from collection until about 10pm instead, plus maybe 1 or 2 overnight feeds. She's happy and growing nicely on her percentile still :) No dummy either.

He'll be fine. I return to work at 6 months and was ebf. He wouldn't take a bottle either. We sent him with one incase but they rarely got him to have any. We introduced a cup quite early, which helped a bit but mainly he just got liquid from food whilst at nursery and breast fed just before going and straight after pick up. He was in nursery 2 full days and a half day and was fine. He was breastfed until he was 3. It wasn't easy for the nursery as he'd only settle to sleep on someone as he usually fell asleep being fed and held but it did mean he had an amazing bond with his key worker! I would suggest encouraging drinking from a cup as much as possible.

By one year old he'll probably be able to go a day without breastmilk. When you're with them it feels like they need it a lot but it's because you're with them i.e they know it's there!

Have you started introducing water in a sippy cup or open cup? Because at 1 he can have cow's milk from those which might help. No need for a bottle really.

Try not to worry now, 8 weeks is a long time for babies he'll be a totally different child by then!

My son started nursery at a year old and was BF (he still is). I was worried about the milk aspect because I didn’t express & he didn’t take to cows milk at that age. From this perspective he has been absolutely fine. Although it did mean and sometimes still does that when he gets home he is attached to my boob for a bit to make up for lost time.
I can’t give you any tips for comforting your LO as my LO didn’t take to a dummy or comforter or anything like that. What I can say is that he loves his key person and they have a very special bond. They will make it work somehow x

My EBF started full time at 11 months and she just didnt have breast milk at nursery - and I had pumped for MONTHS!

Fed her before, fed her when she got home and she ate food as normal at nursery.

She also fed to sleep her whole life but the magical nursery fairies fixed that and she sleeps like a dream for them!