What can your 5 year old do?

[InvisibleDisability]

Reason for asking is that my MIL came out with a classic today: “I do think you need to pay her (just turned 5y old daughter) more attention. She looks so alone in the mornings getting changed by herself. I know you want her to be independent but she’s only little ”

what can your 5 year olds do and am I being a really mean parent asking my daughter to get herself changed in the mornings before school while im getting the baby (9 months old) changed and ready?

My 3 year old dresses and undresses herself so no you aren't being unreasonable there.

My DD has been getting herself dressed since age 2! Of course you should be encouraging your 5yo to be independent in things like getting dressed, brushing hair (might need redoing!), setting the table etc.

I don’t think it’s mean to encourage independence in tasks they can easily do on their own.

DD who is also 5 has been dressing herself for a couple of years. She likes choosing her clothes and getting herself ready.

Sometimes I offer to help if I have time or if she’s being a bit slow or seems tired etc.

It drives me mad when I give lifts to other five year olds to sports clubs and they won’t even try to get themselves changed.

Um, definitely not dressing my 5 year olds. They have dressed themselves since 3/4 - button up shirts were a bit of a challenge when starting reception at 4yo, but by 5 they do it all themselves. They do rely on me to tell them what to wear on school days (pe kit vs uniform and winter vs summer uniform)- I usually put their clothes on their bed, and sometimes wonder if I am coddling them.

My older daughter was still an only child at 5. I didn't dress or undress her even though I had no baby to care for. 5 year olds are very capable! She would gave to change for PE at school. We still brushed teeth at that age to make sure it was done right and I did her hair as it is hard to style. We supervised baths but she washed herself, we washed her hair. She was helping a bit with easy chores.

DD1 was doing this at 3 as I was dressing her baby sister.

My 3yo dresses herself and later on does coat, shoes, etc. Independence is great!

No! I’d guess she likes being able to get herself dressed, and by 5 you’d be hoping for that. I’d tell your MIL she’s projecting..
😁

Your mil is being ridiculous.
Getting dressed by themselves of one area of responsibility a child can have at such a young age.

I was stressing because mine can’t tie shoelaces yet (all but their dance shoes are Riptape). Genuinely interested when people teach their kids to tie shoes - when I was a kid riptape wasn’t really so common, so I definitely tied my own shoes by 5

I do brush their hair (it is curly and easily tangles), but they brush their own teeth. They have simple chores (tidying their rooms, putting away their plates, collecting laundry)

I still spend loads of time supporting them, it it is different than when they were babies - it’s just less about physical needs.

If it’s a school day mine gets into uniform but I help with tights as she tends to get in a tangle whe is then furious. I brush and tie back her long hair. I also do her teeth as the dentist said we need to brush their teeth for quite a few years to come.

Dresses himself completely, but does do it in the same room that I'm getting the baby dressed in. He would do it in his own room if told to, but he prefers not to be by himself.

Will dress herself with a LOT of fuss, cajoling, crying, getting distracted etc. But perfectly capable of doing it, just lazy and easily distracted. Will brush teeth, put coat on and shoes (often only after repeated request). Will help with some jobs like laying / clearing table and putting cutlery away. Generally requires a lot of persuasion to get her to do anything. Tests my patience a lot but refuse to do it all for her. I do her hair and do a final brush of teeth.