Single mum working full time

[LDA123]

Bit of backstory - separated earlier in year, 4 children 4-12, ex has kids EOW Friday to Sunday, no family in area.

I have worked part-time for a number of years but due to situation, looking at returning full-time.

I’m really nervous though and trying to get my head around the logistics. How do people actually make it work? Would probably be a hybrid type job with some home working.

Do you use wraparound care every day? How do you fit in clubs? My youngest goes to bed at 7pm so worried about how little time I would end up spending with her. The others go to bed a bit later so would get more time after work. Sickness etc would fall to me.

Please tell me your success stories of how you make it work and whether you think it does work!

Yes to wrap around care and that taking the place of clubs in the week… sat morning/ Sunday are options for extras but obviously only if ex is happy to facilitate on his weekends. Other options if got friends that also attend clubs can they take and you collect both children for example? For something like swimming maybe prioritise?

When I worked full time I was a childminder. Worked perfectly as I was home with kids and earning. Dd did ballet on Saturday.

It comes down to;

• what can you flex with your employer/what kind of work you do
• what age are your kids
• what can you do in school vacations/child sickness

Seems pretty harsh you don't get ANY weekends with your kids - is it cos you are working weekends?

If not, ask ex to do every other weekend and then he could do one overnight mid week - you could ask your employer to work long hours that day (eg 8am - 6.30pm) and also next day (7am to 5.30pm) as DH would have the responsibility of getting the kids from and to school. Then shorten your other days so you can work 8am to 3pm. You can have a 30min lunch break on your long days, and a 20min lunch break on your short days, and you hit 40 hours a week. You'd need breakfast club 4 days a week, but you'd only need afterschool club once (on your long 7.30am to 5.30pm day).

Or ask your ex to do Sunday night so then you can work a long day Friday #o you could start v early eg 7am on a Monday?

How old are your kids? Assuming they are all school age, you can use breakfast club and drop them at 7.30am. You would need the kids ALL completely ready by 7.15am, that means dressed, breakfast eaten, teeth cleaned, shoes bag and coats by the door - then you can leave to take the youngest to breakfast club so you are at your desk by 8am. Any of your kids in Y6 or above can be left in the house and can take themselves to school.

I think being a single parent, FT job and weekday hobby clubs with 4 kids would be very challenging. Depending on age, maybe look for a family martial arts club as they often accommodate all ages in one class, and accept that your youngest will be in bed late that night (7pm bedtimes don't last forever..).

You'll need to carefully research holiday clubs and consider how flexible is your employer around granting people holidays. Many holiday clubs don't match the "7.30am to 6pm" you can achieve with wrap around at school or long nursery hours. And around age 11 your kids might not enjoy holiday club so much, but still not be ready for being home alone all day for whole weeks at a time.

PS wrap around care every day is absolutely fine for many kids. Just watch out if your kids have already suffered their dad leaving, there could be some feelings of abandonment if they are put in ASC and/or breakfast club suddenly. It's a lot of change in a short space of time, especially if you don't see them at weekends either.

Thanks for your post. Sorry if it wasn’t clear - Ex has them every OTHER weekend so I do get weekends with them. I think what you say seems like a good plan, 3 short days and 2 long ones. Possibly they could still do clubs on the 3 short ones then. I think it’s going to be a lot of adjusting for us all.

Personally unless you had a mortgage to pay I would not be working full time with 4 kids but I understand people have to and especially in the economy.

Have you looked at the benefit calculator and juggled your numbers round. You have stated EOW but what about all the school holidays and inset days OP? Don't forget them ... does your ex pay CMS?

I do have a mortgage to pay. Ex night for leaving job so SCM unreliable hence thinking about returning to work. To keep the roof over our heads basically.