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Parenting

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Should I flag 3yo behaviour to HV?

14 replies

Mamabear04 · 19/11/2022 18:14

DD had just turned 3yo. I'm a bit concerned about her behaviour and not sure if it's just her age or if it might be something more like ADHD. Some of the things that are worrying me are:

At mum and toddler groups she is constantly up and down the table when it's snack time. She can't sit still in her chair. She rarely finishes a snack because she gets bored and distracted by toys.

She also will not sit in the circle at the end when everyone is singing songs and runs about the hall. I think she might think it's a game? Or maybe because she is one of the oldest she is bored? Not sure if she's just not capable to do it.

At home, again up and down from the table. I constantly have to tell her to sit properly in her chair.

Will watch TV for 10-15 mins then again up and down. Complains if I switch the TV off when she loses interest.

Constantly says she wants to do something and go somewhere. I suggest lots of things like colouring in, jigsaws etc but gets bored after 5 mins when a few months ago these things would keep her occupied for ages.

Running and jumping head first at the sofa (drives me nuts)

Constantly wants someone to play with her. Loses interest if no one is with her.

Things that make me think it's not ADHD are being able to concentrate on a task if she is enjoying ie washing her toys.

She's not at nursery yet so might not have learned these skills of sitting still etc. Maybe it's just I'm failing her.

She's a covid baby and up until now has had a lot of 1 on 1 attention.

She had a 4mo baby brother who she loves but struggles with the changes ie having to be quiet when he's sleeping.

Part of me thinks its just 3yo behaviour because she has so much sass.

Should I flag the behaviours above to the HV?

OP posts:
GAH3 · 20/11/2022 17:06

Sounds pretty normal to me but no harm in asking. If it does turn out to be something then better to get the ball rolling early.

bigfamilygrowingupfast · 20/11/2022 17:09

It sounds very normal but I'd definitely look at preschool etc so she learns about "independent" play and is able to occupy herself a bit more. It's a very valuable skill

WeightoftheWorld · 20/11/2022 22:30

My eldest is 4.5 and everything you say sounds normal and age appropriate to me. In fact my eldest still sometimes does a lot of that stuff now!

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YesNoYesNoYesNoYesMaybe · 20/11/2022 22:34

My 3yo is exactly like this

FloorWipes · 20/11/2022 22:36

Things that make me think it's not ADHD are being able to concentrate on a task if she is enjoying ie washing her toys.

I have no idea if it’s ADHD or not but don’t use this as a point against ADHD as it’s based on a misconception about how ADHD works.

SnarkyBag · 20/11/2022 22:39

FloorWipes · 20/11/2022 22:36

Things that make me think it's not ADHD are being able to concentrate on a task if she is enjoying ie washing her toys.

I have no idea if it’s ADHD or not but don’t use this as a point against ADHD as it’s based on a misconception about how ADHD works.

Agree lots of children with ADHD are able to focus on activities they are engaged in. Hyperfocus is quite common in ADHD

SnarkyBag · 20/11/2022 22:41

It may be signs of ADHD but equally lockdown toddlers and lack of experience at nursery alongside standard 3 year old behaviour could account for all of it.

I would look to getting her into nursery and give her time to settle and see how it goes or if they flag concerns.

RedCheese · 20/11/2022 23:13

If you are worried, ask the professionals. I wish someone had said this to me when my son was this age, instead of the usual “don't worry, I’m sure it’s nothing” or even worse, saying it’s down to parenting. If something is picked up, it’s better you find out sooner than later.

Mamabear04 · 21/11/2022 14:46

I didn't mean to offend anyone. DD is my eldest and apart from her I have no experience with children. I don't know the ins and outs of ADHD and so that was really why I was asking as the only thing I know about it is what I've picked up from Google. My question came out of wanting to know more from experienced parents and if I should be concerned or if I need to get DD extra help.

She starts nursery in January so hoping it might help with clearning things up!

OP posts:
Season0fTheWitch · 21/11/2022 14:51

Sounds like a normal 3yo to me. When she goes to nursery she'll get better at taking directions and sitting for food etc. Mum and toddler groups are sudden bouts of discipline and structure, no wonder she doesn't want to sit down

mrsed1987 · 21/11/2022 14:53

No harm in asking, but my nearly 4 year old is the same, although he does concentrate better now he is a little older.

Merlott · 21/11/2022 15:00

Sounds normal. When dc1 was 3 the sit down and sing thing was an absolute no go! I got flak off a "friend" for letting him walk around with food at mealtimes. My view was better he grazes and eats something than I try to physically restrain him in a highchair and potentially cause a lifetime of issues around food/eating disorder.

He's finally started to get the hang of sitting for circle time now he's 6. Still would much rather be off running around though and I don't see anything abnormal there!

Moonshine160 · 21/11/2022 15:20

You have just described my 3.5 year old boy. I think it’s normal.

Usernamenotavailable101 · 21/11/2022 17:47

This sounds exactly like my kids. I think it's very normal @Mamabear04 x

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