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Parenting

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7 year old DD upset about time spent with dad

5 replies

Winginitt · 19/11/2022 16:13

Feel like I post a lot on here recently but it really is my saving grace when I need to rant!

So I have a 7 year old DD, her dad and I are not together and she spends 2 days there - they are school days and I drop her off at school Wedesday morning and pick her up from school Friday, every other week she stays till Saturday midday. My ex lives with his parents and his mom does all of the parenting, school runs, baths, feeding her, activities - ex doesn’t do a thing but has always been around and she adores him. Recently I’ve found out he has started seeing someone new, poor thing, and DD has started to come home upset about her dad, she doesn’t know that he is seeing someone however has lost him to his phone (messaging her) and now on his only day in a fortnight that he sees her for longer than 3 hours (later bedtime and he finishes work earlier than she finishes school) he is spending this time out with his new woman instead of spending time with his daughter. She has again come home today so upset because she has barely seen him or done anything with him. Her Nan, although a mug, is amazing and I’m so glad they have eachother but I wish she’d sort her son out!

I’ve told the ex about his daughter coming home upset and telling me she misses Daddy and he has denied it and made out like she’s in a strop and is lying. I know him well enough to know that she probably isn’t lying but mr perfect does nothing wrong. How do I approach this situation, his mom thinks the sun shines out of his arse and is still cleaning up after him and changing his bedsheets - he’s 30 years old, she would never expect him to be a parent as he is male and they’re very traditional on sexist views. I almost want to keep her home with me full time but I know in the long run this would do more damage than good.

OP posts:
Theskyisfallingdown · 19/11/2022 16:22

Sadly deadbeat scum can’t be forced to parent, so you’ll just have to be her safe, reliable parent. When she’s 11+ she can choose whether or not she is in his presence. Shocking that this mummy-dependent deadbeat ever appealed to any woman, never mind more than one 🤢

Winginitt · 19/11/2022 16:30

This is the first woman since me, unfortunately I only learnt of how he was after giving birth to his child. I genuinely thought he’d be amazing but after 6 years with no support from him and still living with his parents I walked! I imagine he has made out he is an amazing dad to this new woman and she probably thinks it’s amazing, although I hope she doesn’t have children cos anyone that does would surely want to know why he is with her and not his child!

OP posts:
Theskyisfallingdown · 19/11/2022 16:38

What about him made you think he’d be amazing? Confused

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Theskyisfallingdown · 19/11/2022 16:41

(A boyfriend dependent on his parents to house him, launder for him and perform basic functions for him was never fit to date, never mind him having the audacity to reproduce. Can your child have counselling for the impact of having a disinterested, non functional’father’?)

IneedanewTV · 19/11/2022 16:47

Sounds like she has a lovely relationship with her grandmother. That relationship is important so I think you are BU to consider stopping the visits. You can’t make a dad parent. I can’t understand how he was amazing and then not?

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