Misconception of middle child?!

[Lara151]

What is this misconception of a middle child, especially in 3 siblings? I hear it all the time, have seen comments on people saying they wouldn’t have 3 children because they don’t want a middle child?!?
I find it very insulting as I have 3 and would never want my middle one to hear this.
Sorry if this is on wrong topic.

I am the middle. I brought myself up and was and remain ignored. Even now my mother tells me how hard life is for my siblings and I am dismissed.

I also have three and am trying to break the cycle.

I'm the middle of three. I don't have a complex about it and never felt neglected or ignored.

I'm a middle child and I do get the sense of being overlooked. An example of this is school years. You rarely see/hear parents say "I can't believe my middle child starts/leaves school/uni today" yet change that to "1st born" or "youngest" and it happens all the time. When it comes to milestone events then you are referred to by name not by "birth order" which IMO makes you seem less important within the family. Everyone else has a defined role (for want of a better word), whereas you are just "there".

I agree with the PPs, I definitely think middle child syndrome is a legitimate thing. No personal experience as I'm one of two sisters but DH is the eldest of 3 brothers.

I think it's easy to overlook the middle child at times as the youngest is often babied and the first is always the go to helper (speaking from an outside perspective from what I've seen). Obviously that won't be the case for lots of families, but there's enough evidence/research to suggest it's the case for a majority of middle children.

It didn’t put you off having 3 then?

My DH is the third of four and his parents gave them a lovely, supportive upbringing. Nevertheless, they pretty much match the usual stereotypes of birth order.

SIL 1: Type A personality, very kind but also bossy and competitive-every time anyone mentions doing something, she’s already done it and done it better. 🤣

BIL: The Golden Child. Can’t put a foot wrong so he’s inevitably self-absorbed. He’s a nice person though.

DH: Type B, v. easy-going personality. Gets on with everyone and happy to go along with what they want to do-because he’s always had to! He got dragged everywhere as a child.

SIL 2: Stereotype of the youngest child. No one wants to upset her or ask anything of her. Again, she’s a nice person, just lets everyone run around after her ( even when she doesn’t really need their help).

They’re a nice family, but birth order has definitely shaped them and I’m glad I’ve married the easygoing middle child!

I have 4 but there's 8 years between the first and second and 8 years between the 2nd and 3rd so I'm not sure how they fit into this

So ds3 &4 were 3 and 5 when ds 1 moved out so a bit different to the norm .