3 year old not sleeping through the night

[Mamof2girls]

Hi there. Not sure if I'm posting in the right place or not but here goes.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old (daughters). My 3 year old use to be a great sleeping but the last 6 month plus have been awful, I can count on one hand how many times she's slept through. I have tried everything from sitting at her door for hours, putting back to bed and ignoring. It's not so much getting her off to sleep now as she will after a story, it's more waking in the nights screaming (not crying just scream for me), she doesn't get out of bed all of the times but sometimes she will stand by the gate and scream for me. I can't ignore her as she will wake her littler sister which is the bedroom right next to her. My partner works silly hours (out the house for 4:15am) so it's all on me even on the days he doesn't work as he doesn't hear her until I give him a nudge. I also work 2 full days, clean a holiday home and occasionally help my sister in a nursery aswell as doing all the house work (not complaining). I am also around 11 weeks pregnant so the tiredness is real as you can imagine.
I am willing to try anything at this point.
Some info about her.
She is in pre school Monday and Wednesdays 9-3pm and Tuesday and Thursday 9-11am. This will change in January, she will then be going 5 days a week 9-3pm (30 hours free childcare scheme).
She eats relatively well and drink water, and sometimes milkshakes or juice as a treat.
She has stopped her naps but will sometimes go off in the car if we're out and about and has gone off on the sofa a few times but she will then be up until 9pm.
She doesn't wear a nappy at all.
She is WILD.
We have spoken with the health visitor a few times and she suggested we start with the behaviour (she can be rough with her sister) first and no point in using charts, anyway this didn't help at all so went back to the sleeping.
The nights that she has slept through she is so proud of herself and is really happy from the moment she wakes up instead of angry and touchy.

Sorry for the very long post and I apologise if it's not in the right place.
Any suggestions or help would be great.

Thank you xx

I'm sure this is terrible parenting but our 3 year old was the same. We promised her 3 chocolate buttons in the morning if she slept through the night and didn't disturb us. We've gone from wake ups almost every night to usually only if she's a bit poorly. I feel guilty about the chocolate buttons but my goodness the sleep is worth it... I just make sure to brush her teeth really carefully.

How much one to one attention does she get with you in the day time?

I'd focus on that first.

TradedAtlanta this is something I've told her this morning, if she sleeps all night she can have a small chocolate tomorrow. Someone mention to me to get a small jar and everytime she sleeps through to get a rock a once it'd full she can have a presant so I will try that aswell. But I wouldn't say that giving chocolate to help them sleeps through is bad parenting, anything to survive right.

SoapMactavish this is something I discussed with the health visitor and my partner, we both make sure she has one to one time with us separately and together, when when one of us is working and the youngest is having a nap (twice a day) she gets to pick what she wants to do, we also have sometime with her when one of us takes the dog for a walk with her or if she want to stay home then they youngest goes for a walk and I've recently started bathing them separately so she doesn't feel like she has to share everything with her sister. One thing I think she does need is more time with family (grandparents), she loves to be with them but they don't seem to be very hands on and that's on both sides of the family, they have no reason not to see her more often but that's another subject xxx

Some children just don't sleep well.

what's her understanding of Father Christmas? My similar child is making much more of an effort at the moment at to at least to not scream the house down when she wakes up, but also to try and go back to sleep when she wakes up because we've told her Father Christmas can't deliver presents to children who wake up through the night in case they see him, so she has to get practicing staying asleep for Christmas...

It's a small change, but we told DS1 he didn't need to sleep, but he did need to let Mummy and Daddy sleep, or we were very grumpy and not fun to be around.
He's now 13. I'm pretty certain he doesn't sleep through even now - if I'm awake at 2 or 3am, I often hear him moving around. Some kids just don't sleep - you need to find the bribe that will work on your child.

She used to be a great sleeper, it all went pear shaped when she moved from cot to bed although she is better now that she has a double and not a single.
I don't want her to sleep through for me but for herself, she is a totally different child when she sleps through but when she hasn't she is angry from the moment she wakes up, she doesn't enjoy anything and she has no patience. The preschool have told me twice now that she is tired and snappy which makes me feel awful as she really does enjoy going there with her little friends.
I'm going to write all these down and try them one by one 😂
In a nice way she doesn't give a shit about father Christmas, I don't think she fully understands it but does know that he brings the presents, I've got books ready for 1st of December so hopefully that will help her understand that she needs to be asleep or atleast not wake everyone in the house.

A few of the other parents at preschool have mentioned that their toddler has started waking in the night also and everyone is asking everyone for advice 😂 xxx

Following - my 3 year old is exactly the same!

Thought I'd give a bit of an update incase anyone was interested / following. So on the Saturday I posted DD1 went to stay with my sister and niece, apparently she slept all night but didn't go to bed until 9pm and was in with the both of them. Anyway DP was meant to be picking her up after work at 4pm but DD wanted me to get her and crying, turns out she had the bug and was sick all of her bed o Sunday night then in ours and 3 times after that. She came straight to be with us on Monday night as didn't want to leave her alonge and slept well just a bit of a wiggler. Back to her bed on Tuesday night and only woke once, went to preschool in the morning but they called at 12:15 saying she wasn't herself, slept okish last night but she was in our bed at 4am, she slept until 8am and woke up with a temperature but has been totally fine all day. I will leave it now until next week as we are out all day tomorrow then staying at DP's parents so won't be home until Saturday pm.
I really really don't mind if she wakes up it the screaming, she gave me and DP a heart attack 4am this morning, DP didn't need his alarm for work 😂 x

Hey, I know it's been some time now but I'm dealing with a similar thing! Anything improve since last November? 😅

Hi there. Unfortunately no 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 but to be fair I've not tried been so tired through this pregnancy, we just let her come to bed with us when she woke in the night so that we all could get some sleep. The last 2 weeks have been awful though as both of them have been waking in the night and only want me to comfort them.

I started sleep training last night as I had a paniced about this still happening when baby arrives in 4 weeks time. The gate is back and I only get in bed with her (oldest daughter) to give her one story then she is left to look at books, after 5 minutes she yelled for me so I kept all the books and sat on the floor, she was asleep after 5 minutes (i was lying in bed with her for 30 mins to an hour before). She woke 3 times in the night but again only took 5 mins to get back to sleep.
Any advice welcome, need to nip this in the bud asap 🙈.
She slept through a few weeks ago two nights in a row and she was a totally different child, so happy and had more patience xxx