CM vs Nursery

[geordiemacminx]

As a first timer who is thinking about going to work I'm starting to look at childcare options.

I would be grateful if you could give me some pro's and con's - really want to make the right decision for me and ds - who is 9 months and wild very active

It depends, you may find a great nursery or a great childminder, but finding either one doesn't mean that the other option is an unfavourable one.

I think a lot depends on the particular nursery & on the CM - some advantages of the nursery my DS goes to wouldn't be true of all nurseries & ditto for CMs. But FWIW we chose our DS's nursery because of the following (these aren't advantages of nurseries, they are more 'how to spot a good nursery') -

• stable staffing - DS's key worker has been there for 12 years
• lots of outside play space
• good staff to child ratio
• it felt 'right' when we visited (we visited three times at different times of day, and for the third visit I just said 'I'll pop in with DS registration form at some point tomorrow' so taht I could go unannounced (PFB alert!). And every time I went everything was running smoothly, kids were playing & happy, being cuddled etc.

DS is also 'an active child' and a full day of nursery leaves him exhausted. Which is brilliant

Tell us about your gut instincts.
Would you prefer him to be cared for by one person ? = CM
Is it VERY important to you that you are never let down, by say th eCM being unwell = Nursery
What is that you want for you and ds ?

I guess as an only child, I would like him to have lots of other children to play with. He is very active, and to be honest I struggle at times to keep him entertained... he loves climbing on the tv, emptying the kitchen cupboards and terrorising stroking the cat. Gut instint would be a nursey but I have no idea why that is, I have never really thought about it to be honest. I guess I would want a 100% "safe" environment for him, and not have to constantly orry about him destroying someones home.

We dont have any family near by, so I hope that by putting him into full time child care he will become more independant. I would worry about people at neursery not being quailfied, but I know thats ridiculous. God I dont know!!

Geordie, when I went to ds's nursery, I just KNEW. Lets hope that you too have that confirmation.

I am a sahm so perhaps my opinion is not relevant, although ds did go to nursery for a year when he was 2.5 because I wanted him to have that social element? he went for two mornings a week. But my opinion is this, pro?s of nursery I would consider to be:

Children get to play with lots of other children
There are usually a fairly high ratio of staff per children, so if one member of staff is having a bad day another member can take over, similarly if one member is not doing their job correctly then it is more likely to be picked up.

Cons I would consider to be:

Children stay in one place, so don?t experience much going out to places,
Because of the amount of children in a nursery setting, they don?t get the kind of one-one attention they would get at home, or even at a childminder?s.

I would say pro?s of a childminder are:

Children are looked after in more of a home type environment so get to go to the park/the shops/perhaps preschool when they?re older and it can be more like a home from home situation.

Cons:

Your childminder is one person and especially when your child is younger you really can have no idea how she is looking after him/her. For instance a friend of mine who was childminding came to my house to visit and left her mindee, a baby, asleep outside in her car on my driveway . She couldn?t see the car from my lounge which was around the back of the house, and only went to check on her every 20 minutes or so. Another childminder who used to bring children to preschool regularly left mindees in the car in the carpark while she collected others from preschool, and again, could not see the car. She also arranged for another parent to pick up one of her mindees from preschool and this had not been pre-approved by the mindee?s parents. I know one other childminder and she is lovely and very professional, but my experience with the other two would seriously put me off ever using a childminder.

But there are good and bad of each and only you can make the ultimate decision. some people have horrible experiences with nurseries, some have horrible experiences with childminders. Only you can know what is right for your individual child.

Depends on the nursery re going to places.
besides at 9 months, where do you want them being taken ?
Ds has been to 2 nurseries. 1st was lovely. Then I changed him to a nursery on my work site.
Admittedly he was 3.5 at this stage. They go out all the time. At old nursery they never went out. They go to tescos, buy fruit. To the park. They go into town and watched the cobbler mending shoes. They went to see santa at the garden centre. They went to a play at Xmas and a pantomine.
They do football and have done ballet, jo jingles . The place is amazing !!!!

I am a SAHM and I love it but if I had to choose I think I would go for nursery.

My sister was looked after by a child minder and it turned out later that from the minute my Mum left her there she was put into a cot with the womans own child - a baby and left there for most of the day. Now I know before I get flamed that this not the usual but it would still put me off. Also a nursery is more structured - probably have a timetable that they stick to. I had a friend whose childminder let her child sleep all day so he never wanted to sleep when he got home. At nursery there is more than one adult around making sure things are going to plan and being done by the letter.

However at mine and DD's Play Group there is a child minder who brings the kids she minds there and she is amazing and her kids she minds love her but for me still I would go for a Nursery.

Viggo, I have never had a CM, but a good CM would never do those things. I mean if you said I want ds to sleep for this long eat this much, not to do...
then any CM, Nanny or ANYONE who had any respect would do it as you wished.
That is the whole point isn't it. It is finding somone you trust and building communication, and thus, a relationship.

As a purely possessive mummy, I preferred the idea of a nursery so that there were lots of carers rather than just one for my child to look to as "mummy" iyswim

That was completely hypothetical when I thought about it for DD.

DS is in nursery - mainly because his little friend went and I went with the theory that if I am leaving him somewhere, I wanted him with a mate.

I arrived this morning, and his friend's face lit up and he called his name, when I got there to collect they were playing hiding under a tunnel - lots of shrieking and laughing, then DS lined up the other children for kisses before going home.

Tis lovely.

We chose CM because a) we wanted dd to be in a home environment and b) our local nursery opening times would not fit with my hours. We are really happy with the arrangement - however like everyone else has said there is a lot of variability - I do think our CM is exceptional. Go and visit plenty of CMs and nurseries before you make up your mind - hopefully you will know when you have found the right place.

We chose a nursery as we didn't know anyone to get a personal recomendation of a CM from, and I think that for a CM that's vital.
Also, I think that although CMs go out more, the children can spend a lot of time strapped into car seats or pushchairs as they do school/nursery/playgroup runs. Equally they can have a reasonable number of children with them, and have to clean/cook etc, so attention may be more divided than you first think.
DS loves being with other children his age, and at 20 months, has actual friends that he runs into see.
I'm very happy with our decision, and have never had a wobble about it - and DS has been ft since 4.5 months

We chose CM with DD. We liked the home environment idea but I have to be honest we got a bit sick of it in the end. It depends on you. She was a good childminder but very inflexible. I hated my child sitting in the back of her car and in a cold buggy at the school gates while I paid her. I also didnt like her being dragged roudn the supermarket.

I felt that the variety of toys/ activiites wasn't stimulating enough as my DD got past 1 year old too and she didn't get as much interaction with other childre. She seemed to play dolls every single day.

We now have DD and DS in a nursery which has different toys every day, trained staff who knwo the hcildren are their first priority. My DD loves it my DS took a while to settle as a 6mth old baby I had lots of reservations about how much attention he'd get, cuddles etc. and routine / feeding.

HTH

I would second what levan said - visit as many cms and nurseries as you can. You will begin to see the similarities and differences between the two, and get a feel for what you prefer. FWIW I am a cm and no one I know would do any of the awful things described here, (but of course it does happen)- you need to ask to see proof of recent training and qualifications to see that they are up to date and committed to constantly improvong their practice. Obviously ask to see latest ofsted reports, Ask for references from previous parents, and ask what happens in the day and how it is structured, These things I wuld say apply to nurseries and cms.
Cms will soon have to do even more training, observations, assessments and planning, basically more paperwork to prove to ofsted etc we are doing a good enough job. I think this will weed out the bad ones eventually and the ones left will be top professionals, highly trained and qualifed, with glowing refs !
Sorry hope that didn't sound biased !!
However, both my dds have gone to nursery as I felt it would prepare them for school at age 3 plus, and help them learn to cope away from me, so I am all for nuseries too, and the one i use is fantastic. Good luck

Poppychick - I just have to say I am sorry your cm has put you off - I always try to be as flexible as poss as I know this is one reason people sometimes choose cms over nurseries, so it would be silly not to be. As for kids in buggies and car seats, it does happen of course if they have pick ups etc, but I make sure my buggy has books, toys, snacks and drinks available, and we make time to discuss the surroundings, eg today, walking to pick up, we spotted diggers, trains, etc and stopped to watch them and talk about them. They sometimes have little notepads and pens and doodle away. I also make sure I have options for toddlers, is buggy board or reins, if they do not want to be in buggy.
It is very sa d to hear so many peole speak of bad cm experiences - it gives a bad name to the rest of us, who would never dream of acting like that. I treat the children in my care as the huge privilege I know they are, being trusted with the most precious thing in someones life - perhaps more cms should look at it that way !

Sorry Chankins i don't think all CMs are like that at all it was just my experience. In many ways she was great the way she talked to the children, lovely clean home, great children of her own.

i think there are poor nurseries and CMs certainly not generalising!

No I didn't think you were at all poppychick, just letting the op know what your experience was, which is exactly what she asked for.
I just feel sorry for you and anyone else that has had a bad experience with a cm, as I feel so passionately about the job, it is horrible to hear some cms are basically crap !
I just wanted to say hey I'm not like that, bloody annoys me if other cms are !

Id vote for a (good ) childminder over even the most 'fantatsic' nursary any day!

My dd (15months) is with a childminder, has been since 6 months. db2 (due July) will go to the same childminder (fingers crossed).

I chose childminder as dd gets loads of family type activites, they go to the park, meet other minders with kids, go shopping etc. My CM also happily follows the routine I want and gives me thorough feedback about how dd has been through the day. When dd is 3 she will go to the local pre school for 2.5 hrs a day, then spend the rest of the day at the CM's. dd and her CM have a great bond and it's great to know she's happy there, she waves me bye bye very happily every morning!

I didn't like nursery (and I looked at loads) because babies had to sleep in the same room as all the children still awake and playing (dd has always been awful at napping in the day and the least thing wakes her). I also had concerns about how 1 member of staff can adequately care for 3 under 1. ( my cm only has 1 under 1 and only 3 children in total)

A couple of the nurseries I looked at seemed very caring, stimulating, safe and happy places, and I never ruled out nursery, just decided I preferred CM! Good luck with whatever you go for.

I think you have hit on one of the main differences there, shortshafe, cms will normally do whatever they can to treat each child as an individual, and follow the parents rotune-wishes as much as possible. Plus give a daily diary of info for each young child. I know not many nurseries do this for babies, and stick to their own rules about naps, feeding ect. Still, this can just as easily suit parents, of course.

I LOVE our CM. She is FANTASTIC. She was a personal recommendation.

We chose CM over nursery cos I felt more comfortable with 1:1 care, I wanted him to develop a bond with one person rather than a few nursery workers.

Downsides are when she is ill/on hols I have no childcare.

At the moment I wouldn't swap it for the world. She's ACE.

I chose nursery. It was a BIG mistake. It was a fabulous, excellent Ofsted highly recommended nursery and totally crap. I spent 6 sessions with DS trying to settle him in, while he screamed. Many of the staff were lovely, but it was still a bad evironment.

There is a fair amount of research out there to suggest nurseries are not a good idea. (Penelope Leach and the govt's own childcare adviser have voiced their concerns, and there's the Steve Biddulph book Raising Babies) Also, snoop on the nurseries and childminders threads on MN and you'll see loads of horror stories on the nurseries board, not really very many on CM.

ooh thats good mrsgboring - well not good obviously, but I'm relieved to hear not so many bad cm stories ! It enrages me and saddens me when I hear any.

If I'm honest, as much as I love the nursery my dds have gone to once they were funded at 3+, there have been many incidents etc where I have thought, I wouldn't do that as a cm, that wasn't good busniess practice etc etc.
One example, I picked mine up one day and the door wasn't locked, and a small toddler was sat on the loo, pants down, full view of anyone walking in, no staff in sight at all. No one attented her the whole time I got my dc and left.
They have only just started a signing in/register. Cms have to do this all the time.
A mindee I had before I went on mat leave had to go there, and got a big bump on his head which no one knew about...I was appalled when his mum told me. in my care any slightest bump or accident was documented immediately, signed for etc, so she knew exactly what had happened as I was with him constantly !
Not having a go at nurseries though, I'm really not, just fighting the cm corner whenever I can !
Probably because of the lack of work around here at the moment !

at 10 months I wanted DS to have the small group care of a childminder not be one of 12 in a baby room. At 22 months I did the whole thing agian and having looked at nursery where he would STILL be be in teh baby room with 6 month olds, decided that was not the place for my big clumsey energetic shouty toddler, so hes with a differnt CM, her toddler son and 1 other child most of the day joined by 2 school age kids after school, he worships the BIG boy. next spring i will look again and maybe then nursery will be the right place as we gear up to preschool, or maybe not.
Look at several places, talk to other parenst locally and at work. Be guided by your child and what you feel will be right for them. Good luck.

I only work part of the year hence looking again every spring.

My DS is at nursery. I'm a single parent and it's critical to me that I am never let down through illness etc and I need him to have care when I want it, rather than having to organise myself around a CM's holiday plans. He has been in babycare since he was 7 months (he's now nearly 11m) and in that time, there's never been more than 5 or 6 babies there as very few are there all week. So he gets pretty much one to one care from two highly qualified experienced staff who I trust implicitly. I also felt as an inexperienced first time mum having to choose on my own, I was happier having back up from the organisation that the carers have been properly checked out rather than just my council and a gut feel. Irrational probably but he is a pfb!

He's in a room with babies of up to 12 months and then he will move up to the next room which is 12-18 months so he is always with his age group. And I get a written report at the end of every day too (I think that's actually an OFSTED requirement).

It works for me. But it was the 3rd one I went to look at and it 'felt right' as someone else said.

Good luck with your decision