When your kids have 'playdates' around do you feel a bit of a 'spare part'?

[Gameboy]

Am sat here - feeling like I don't really know what to do... DS (8) and his mate, and DS2 (5) all rampaging around the house.

I know it's stupid, me being the adult, in charge etc etc, but I feel sort of alienated in my own home.

Am I the only one that feels like this?

Deffo not relaxed. Just don't like it.

Oooh, that's the whole point, hun! You have playdates round so that you can have a nice peaceful afternoon on mumsnet.

No I love it - I can get on with the dinner (or mn ) in peace while they entertain each other. No 'mummy I'm hungry/bored/tired'

It's great

How else do you catch up on MN or browse internet?

I love it. I am not the entertainment!

I have playdates SO THAT I can ignore them

what do you want? them to bother you?

yes, thats why im on here!
our play date has refused ALL tea as he says he doesnt like any of it...so im going to take him home hungry and feeling very guilty!

thats ME feeling guilty not play date !!

donbean .. give him some bread

But it's wonderful, you can get on with your own stuff! Why would you want to be involved?

he says he doesnt want anything, ive offered him all sorts bless him.
must check with parents in future.
The last 2 times he has been he has wolfed every last crumb, he is a fab eater usually.
whispers...we adore our play date, we want to keep him.

I know it sounds bonkers, but I don't feel as if I can get on with my own stuff when other kids are here.
It's not that I expect to be involved in their games/ play, but I kind of 'hover' in the next room or kitchen, being 'available' in case they need anything. I won't sit and read the paper in the living room, 'cos I think 'oh, they'll probably want to go on the Wii in a couple of minutes', and then I spend more time making tea, because I probably make something more 'special' than the toasted sandwich my kids would usually get?

No - not relaxed at all

Gameboy, I posted something similar on here recently. It was explained to me (slowly and in words of one syllable ) that I was doing DS a favour by leaving them to it, because it develops his social skills. It was therefore my duty to remain on MN as a distraction, whether I liked it or not!

I can't relax and read the paper when dd has friends around either, equally don't want to interfere too much unless there's a spat or they run out of ideas or something.

The best solution I've found is to do "batch" cooking for the freezer or baking. That way, you are up on your toes and ready to nip and intervene where necessary, and you also achieve something useful (and therefore resent the intrusion and lost time less iyswim)! It means a bit of planning and organisation in advance but well worth it.

I wish I had the opportunty to feel like a spare part! Youngest is only 3yo and wants to join in for any playdate, so I have to monitor quite a bit to make sure that 3yo either isn't picked on, or doesn't make himself into a pest.

I love when my 3 year old has his friends (neighbours kids) over as they play away happily and i can get on with the necessay things...and i dont feel guilty as i would if he was sat in front of TV!
Try to relax and enjoy the moment, they will come to you if they need anything and being in the next room, you can still hear everything, and intervene when is necessary!

I'll tell you when I feel like a 'spare part', when I am in the house on my own. When its full of shouting children and noise I dream of solitude.

When I eventually get it, I wander about, picking things up and putting them down again, trying to resist the lure of 'Dickensons real deal' on ITV2.

I need a list of things I want to do when I have some time and space to myself I think.