Anyone else have a nearly 3yo DS who won't leave them alone?

[janie85]

I know toddlers don't leave their parents alone much, but my DS will never leave me alone. It's really quite stressful at times when I'm trying to dry my hair very quickly or just clear up. I do try and distract him by setting up some toys and suggesting he does his "shop" etc while mummy is busy for 2 minutes.
But he'd rather lay on the floor next to me rolling around with his muzzy cloth, than play.
I sometimes wonder if where he's at nursery 4 days now, and obviously never alone when he's there, that at the weekend and on our day off he finds it very hard to play independently or even be in the room next to me when he can hear me..for 30 seconds.
He's also very moany and so it's hard work. I've written posts before about how he's rarely happy and a sensitive soul, that's another story although I will say DH and I do our best to have a good time with him and make him laugh, he's naturally not a laid back kid.

Anyway I'd love to know if anyone has a similar situation and any advice? Xxx

That sounds exactly like my DS1 was! It was so tough at that age. He's almost 5 now and still sensitive and a bit needy but also so thoughtful and caring (sometimes!). I don't have any advice - I just felt however much I did for him was never enough. We now give him points for doing things independently which seems to be helping to lower his needyness but yours might be a bit young for that. DS2 is the complete opposite - I think it's just what they are like.

I found just getting on with it and letting them be there was the easiest, and being really firm about what I was doing. So I'd tell DS I was going to unload the dishwasher, he'd want to play, yes after I do the dishwasher, he'd hover pointlessly and often moan (so grating! You just have to ignore) while I emptied the dishwasher and then we'd play.

Now that he's 3.5 he's more likely to be happier playing near me - so he'll come upstairs if I say I'm hanging out the laundry there but he'll go and play in his room or bring a toy while I put the laundry out. There's less moaning now, as I think he's realised it's pointless.

Mine is the same (2.5 years) so sorry no advice but solidarity. I asked some friends recently and they just suggested things I already have - play kitchen, duplo etc. My son always wants to play collaboratively though with these toys and will come and find me 🙈

I think they just sense when you're busy and want to be even closer!
One point is if you're doing something they can join in, eg dishwasher, get them to join in. Often they will be happy to unload the plastic boxes or get engrossed with the cutlery.
I found our son isn't so interested in toys for toys sake, he wants to be in whatever I'm in all the time. So I either have to play with toys or he has to get on with some work!
Another tip is to try to find some compromise, eg if I'm in the toilet he has to stand completely on the outside otherwise I close the door. So he can come nearby but not come in. Then it takes the battle out of it.
It is hard though, especially when they have strong ideas about what you need to do and start grabbing your arm or thumb and moving it! Good luck.

@Stupidquestion1 thank you for sharing! It's good to know yours was like this too and he's got better. I kind of know my son is always going to be a bit dramatic and sensitive, but I think I'd mind less if I got a bit more happiness and a bit less moaning, it's good to know he might get better in the future 🤞xx

@Merrow it's good to know there may be an improvement at 3.5 😅

@tulipsunday glad I'm not alone but sorry you're also in the same boat, it's bloody hard work isn't it? You're right friends tend to make suggestions and you think 'does that work with your kid then because it won't with mine!' And then you wish your kid was more independent and feel you're getting a hard ride while others haven't!
I always hope the DSs moaning is a reflection of his intelligence and wanting to do things he can't etc.. hopefully that's the case ☺️

@johnd2 you're right, they do prefer to be doing what we're doing, and unfortunately want to take over and take control of the situation...patience is key but it's not always my best skill 😅

I have five year olds who are like this!

Sounds exactly like DS1 age 3.5, he is my shadow. I can’t even nip upstairs for a wee without him following closely behind. He doesn’t enjoy playing independently and needs me there allll of the time. I also have a 9 week old baby so feel like I’ve been so snappy with DS1 lately because of how overwhelmed I am and then I feel guilty for it afterwards.

@Moonshine160 I'm sure you're doing a great job even if it doesn't feel like it! I'm due no2 in the early summer, so she's away but DS will be 3.5 then.
I dunno about you but I always wish time away and look forward to him being older but then I feel guilty and question whether other parents feel like this (even though they do!)
Just think you're week 9 and have got the mega shock part out the way, soon you're no2 will be sleeping longer (if they're not already?) hope you're DS is letting you tend to baby xxx

Hi any updates