I'm going to have a crack at toilet training - how do you go about it?

[bohemianbint]

Ooops, I've posted this in the parenting bit so thought I better put it here instead - apologies if you've stumbled across both!

I've just bought one of those seats that go under your toilet seat and I'm deciding to skip the whole potty thing and get DS straight on the loo.

He's nearly 18 months and I'm nearly 3 months pregnant so I wanted to try and crack it before baby #2 arrives. He's a bright spark but he's not talking much yet, so I guess I'll need to use a sign or something when he wants to tell me he wants to go?

He's a cloth bottomed baby so am hoping that might help a bit.

Any tips for a rookie?

hi there - didn't want your message to go unanswered.

I'm no expert at toilet training but to me just under 18 months seems very young to start training (especially for a boy, whom most people seem to say train later than girls). Is he showing signs that he knows when he's had a wee or a poo? ( I might be wrong though - and lets face it there's nothing to be lost by trying!)

I guess it depends whether you want to try some kind of behaviouristic training (i.e. when you sit him on the loo he learns that it is time to do a pee) or whether you are wanting him to learn to recognise his own desire to pee/poo and act on that. If it is the later then you need to be sure that he can tell you when he needs a wee (either in words or via a sign). I would also argue that getting children really toilet trained (i.e. able to go to the loo totally on their own initiation and without help) is more about being able to manage their clothes and climb up on the loo seat than anything else!

Best bit of advice (which I got from Mumsnet, of course!) - be committed. Once you take him out of nappies do NOT put him back in (except at night time). I took this route with DD1 , who trained really quite easily.

Gosh - I've rambled on. Ok. Cut to the chase. My basic plan was this...

1. Put DD in pants. Tell her if she needs a wee or a poo she can do it in the potty (or in your case loo) as she is a big girl.
2. Bribe her with sweets / raisins / whatever to get her to sit on the potty every 20 mins or so. (in the hope she will do something).
3. If she pees her pants be totally matter of fact and clean it up with no fuss.
4. If she actually managed to do pee on the potty she got 5 sweeties / raisins.
5. Hope like hell that DD started to recognise the need to pee and link it to the puddle at her feet.

But as I say I am NO expert - and so many may come on here and tell you I am talking absolute rubbish!!

Good luck!!

(FWIW DD was also a cloth bottom baby and I do think that helped alot)

We started introducing a potty and later a toilet to our DD when she was 10 weeks old and by 12 months she was reliable dry and clean (cleaner much earlier, drier later once we elimated diary from our diets)

She is now 17 months old and in real pants during the day and backup cloth nappies at night.

She sign's her version for Toilet. She holds her palm flat and uses the other hand to point to the middle of her palm. She also rattles the baby gate at the foot of the stairs to ask to go to the toilet.

TBH as long as there is no punishment or negativity, you can start as early or late as you want. I am debating about starting shortly after birth with this next one. Anything which limits the amount of 'poos up to the necks' I have to deal with the better.

Here are a few hints of how to get started. I would start with the after sleep wees as they are the easiest to catch and everytime you see him wee/poo, do a sign (you can use the BSL version or a made up one like we do, as long as all his carers understand it)
Introduction to ECing

HTH and good luck

Oh, you don't need to bribe young children to use a potty. I have never praised or rewarded DD's efforts on a toilet. To my mind it is reward enough that she has the option of using a potty, which means she is not in nappies (which she hates) and never has to sit in her own waste even for 30 seconds (which she also hates).

There is a school of thought that suggests to much praise for children is counter productive.

I expain what happened and if that was the expected outcome.

i.e. You wee'd on the floor. Wee belongs in the potty. We better clean the wee off the floor (hand child cloth to help you clean up the wee)

i.e. You wee'd in the toilet. That is where the wee belongs. Your pants are dry and we can put them back on again.

I understand why bribes have to be part of a toddlers world and I bet I'll be using them myself but there is no need to introduce bribes for using a potty at 18 months old, it would just confuse the issue.

ECing is more about letting the child decide what they want to do (be dry, clean) rather than doing it to please an parent or for an reward.

ok, tbh, I wouldn't bother.

I have NEVER toilet trained. They both just trained themselves when they were ready. Ok they were actually on the young side(ds-2.2 and dd-22 months-both cloth also!) BUT BUT BUT lots of my friends have done similar, and their kids weren't ready til maybe 3 or 4- and honestly, this way is much more stress free.

Also, 2 in nappies is much less stressful than 1 in nappies and 1 semi but not really potty trained, IME.

The only thing I can remember doing is taking off the nappy in the house, as soon as they started noticing the potty/toilet. And then asking them to help clean up any liquid accidents (they quite like this, IME ). I don't know how much this actually helped though...

agree with filly wait until he is telling you otherwise it is a lot of hassle and probably will go on for the next 6mths. Ds was 2.2yrs[also had 3wk old dd1] when he told me he was ready and we trained within a couple of days. DD1[2.1] was telling me for about 4/5mths before I actually bit the bullet and we trained her over christmas and within 3 days she was dry and out of night nappies because she was ready.

TBH if you are only 3 months pregnant you've got ages yet.

I'm due in 4 weeks and DS (2.6) started potty training two weeks ago and we've been accident free (wee & poo) for a week.

No harm in trying now if you want to but if you find it's not happening then don't stress leave it a couple of months and try again.

We've tried 4/5 times since I fell pregnant cause like you want DS dry for when baby comes. All the other times it just didn't work this time it just "clicked" and has been so so easy.

Brilliant - thanks for all the replies!

I really had no idea, it hadn't occurred to me to put him in proper undies so he figures it out!

He does tell me if he's going to poo (in sign language) and I think he uses a similar sort of sign for a wee, which is what made me wonder if he was about ready to start using the loo.

Where do you buy undies for 18 month old boys then?

Brilliant - thanks for all the replies!

I really had no idea, it hadn't occurred to me to put him in proper undies so he figures it out!

He does tell me if he's going to poo (in sign language) and I think he uses a similar sort of sign for a wee, which is what made me wonder if he was about ready to start using the loo.

Where do you buy undies for 18 month old boys then?

Or can you get non-disposable trainer pants?

Bright Bots Trainer pants come up quite small. I had DD in small and now medium at 17 months.

Marks and Spencers and Mothercare do little pants from 18 month old.

www.theecstore.com does two sizes of tiny pants.

Or you can get them custom made

BabiesEverywhere - those Bright Bot pants look ace - I'm going to order some!

Thanks for all the tips everyone, I'll no doubt be back for more advice as we get started....

I've found cloth training pants excellent. When people say don't use training pants as children think they are just nappies, I really think they are referring to disposable ones.

Ds is a disposable nappy wearer but has been in cloth training pants and he definitely knows they aren't nappies.
Have found Bambino Mio ones fine.