When should we try and get into “a routine”?

[Moonshine160]

Our first DS is 3.5 years but the early weeks were a blur and I can’t remember when he started to get in any sort of routine. DS2 is 9 weeks old and we aren’t in any sort of routine yet. He is still very sleepy in the day and has multiple naps which can last anywhere from 10 mins to 2 hours. He also breastfeeds on demand. Should I be trying to get him in a nap routine or should I just carry on going by his awake windows? He goes to bed at night when me and DH go up to bed which is usually 10-10:30pm. Another mum I spoke to has started putting her 11 week old down for the night at 7:30pm. When should I start putting him down a bit earlier? At the moment his most awake, fussy time is during the evening and he has a witching hour so I don’t think an early bedtime is anywhere near achievable for us yet!

I follow the "go with the flow" style of parenting. I found both of mine got into some semblance of a pattern but it was a mutual dance, if that makes sense. They bent to me but we bent to them as well.

I knew other young mums who pushed for a routine and ended up really frustrated.

I found one of mine started settling at 7.30ish at 4 months and the other at 3 months which paved the way for me to put them down to bed for the night and then a nap routine naturally came out of that.

Mine had the bedtime routine from the off and by that I just mean bathed, fed and ready for bed by 7.30pm. Early weeks they were obviously still in moses basket and it was lifted when we went to bed. If they stirred they were seen too and never left to cry, but were swaddled. Both mine thankfully slept through before 12 weeks.

The rest of the routine for naps seemed to happen naturally but I am aware both my kids were easy babies. It wasn't rigid, I was just mindful at at 10am and 2 pm they may get mardy if we were out but both happily slept in pram/carseat too.

I def wasn't one of those parents that let the routine rule their life.

I very much went with the flow second time. I tried for more of a routine first time as I thought that's what I was "supposed" to do. It didn't work out very well and led to a lot of unnecessary stress. Second time I just run with it and hope for the best. May be unrelated but DS2 took longer to find a respectable bedtime but is a better sleeper overall than DS1.