Normal? FTM ... sleep woes

[incognitan]

Posting here for higher traffic.

DS is 8 weeks old, and we're very much in the 4th trimester phase still, so I'm trying to keep expectations realistic but would appreciate some guidance.

He will only contact nap, will NOT go down in his next 2me (deffo not since we started co sleeping anyway) doesn't fall asleep by himself and also wakes up multiples times (around 3-4 times) during the night still. I'm not too worried about most of these except for night wakes.

Most other women I've spoken to with babies similar age seem to only have one or two wakes at night so just want to check what's normal ish?

He is BF with one bottle of formula just before bed although I don't think it actually keeps him particularly full as his first wake up is at 11:30 pm. He wakes up from wriggling around (as I understand wriggling is normal but it seems to wake him up and his eyes will be wide open... eventually he cries to be held or soothed).

Then he'll wake again maybe 2.30 am and 4. When DH takes over he will only sleep on his chest otherwise we are cosleeping. Each time he is either rocked back to sleep or breastfed back to sleep.

He's swaddled and we only use dim red lighting for night feeds. He seems to sleep a little better on his side.

TIA x

That sounds within the bounds of normal to me although it’s towards the harder end.

Sleep (lack thereof) is so hard and when they’re so tiny you don’t have a lot of control over it.

If he sleeps better on his side do you think there’s any chance of silent reflux? Is he happy on his back when he’s awake?

I don’t have any advise but just wanted to say this was exactly my experience too.

DS is 6 months and we’re not out of the other side yet (in fact he wakes way more than 3 times at night but we co sleep and is easily fed back to sleep)

100% rate co sleeping btw! I was SO tired before we started.

I think everything you have described is completely biologically normal!

Sounds completely normal I'm afraid! At 8 weeks one of mine was still up 3-4 times a night and had other would still only sleep on my chest, that was a killer.

Just enjoy the contact naps if you can, get settled on the sofa with a box set or a book, or get yourself a song or wrap if you need to get things done.

Also, I bet at least a few of your friends are making that up!

Yes, all sounds completely normal. From my experience 4 times is is actually quite good 🥴
My two slept on my chest most of the night, and were bf or rocked to sleep until around 9 months. You do survive it and come out the other end eventually! There's not much you can do in this early stage, as you know, it's the 4th trimester!

Sounds completely normal. It gets better (and worse, and better and worse and better).

Just follow your instincts, don't read too much about what they 'should' be doing and don't worry about other people's babies. Run your own race.

Keep going ❤️

Normal - we had multiple wakeups until 2 or 3 months old, then she went down to 1 for a few weeks but it turned out to just be a blip and at 4 months she was still waking 3 or 4 times a night. However as soon as she went into her own room at 6mo she dropped from 2 to 1 to 0 night wakeups really quickly.

It's really really tough but very normal and should improve gradually, hang on in there!

I’m a foster carer who has looked after many newborns. That sounds fairly normal

Torturous but normal I am afraid.

Hold fast. These things can change quickly.

Mine were terrible sleepers as newborns but we're good sleepers from 6 months onwards. Meanwhile some friends who had very compliant newborns were tearing their hair out with waking toddlers later on. It's all luck of the draw.

Get all the help and sleep you can and remember it will pass.

This is completely normal, my LO was the same at this age and still wakes at nearly 2 years old. Sleep habits can vary so much between children, co sleeping has made a huge difference for me for the better.

What I found hard in the early days more than anything was that people kept telling me that babies sleep through from an early age when in actual fact very few do.

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Thanks so much for replying. Tagging you all as I'm pretty desperate with no longer stretches than half an hour at a time for the last two nights. Baby now won't sleep anywhere unless it's my chest or husbands chest. At least before he was sleeping in my arms on my side in bed but now he won't do that. I feel like I can't cope it's absolutely miserable...

Oh, mate. Rough times. Just replying to bump you up as I don't have any good advice. Mine was never a great sleeper and I got through it by sleeping when she slept and naps in the sling that at least got me fresh air.

I absolutely promise you that it is going to get better though. It really is.

I'm so sorry, its a killer it really is. You haven't mentioned white noise, sorry if you've already tried it but we found it really soothing for our 2.

Also, have you ruled out reflux? Our first had really bad reflux, and most likely undiagnosed CMPA. Having a second baby has made me see what normal baby poo's are like. He responded well to rantidine, but I wish I'd had the confidence to badger the doctors about allergies more. One of them told me just to let him cry it out. He was only 8 weeks old!!

Something to consider if things are that bad are sleep nests. The only one 'approved' for overnight sleep are the purflo nests, they weren't around for for older son, but it did help our youngest. I mean, it wasn't an immediate miracle, but if helped him sleep for a little longer each night until he was doing 2-3 hours at a time.

If nothing else helps then we slept in shifts. I'd sleep from 7pm till 10pm, then DH would sleep from 10pm till approx 4am and then I'd sleep again till 7.30am. It was an absolute killer, but it got us through.

He was diagnosed with reflux a while ago but it seemed to settle down. I don't know if explains how unsettled he is now. We're using white noise and he won't take a dummy. Tried to use sleep pod last night and he was having absolutely none of it!

We're also doing shift sleeps... I think I'm finding today particularly hard as DH is in the office so I did the full bloody shift last night with hardly any sleep at all. Seems the only way for now though.

Re CMA allergy the GP ruled it out but he doesn't have any other symptoms like rash or wheezing etc.

Thank you x

Thank you. I hope so!!!