Potty training

[Charl881]

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice although from the many threads I’ve read on potty training I realise there probably isn’t really a right answer.

We started potty training our 2 and a half year only yesterday after a big build up to it. No accidents at all yesterday, everything in the potty, I was chuffed! Today he has had four accidents (three wees, one poo). Sometimes it seems like he knows he needs to go but he doesn’t want to stop playing so maybe it’s on me more to remind him.

My worry is he’s due back to nursery on Tuesday and it’s whenever we’ve put pants on him he’s been having an accident.

Just now doubting myself as to whether to persevere or give up until we can have a longer run at it at home.

If you're not reminding him to go it is entirely your fault. Of course you need to remind him! Or take him if reminding isn't enough. It's day 2!

@NuffSaidSam I didn’t say I wasn’t reminding him at all. It’s just difficult to know how much to remind him, I’m not going to do it every 10 mins as that isn’t practical and also won’t happen when he’s back to nursery in two days time.

Well if you're not going to do it every 10min to start with you will have lots of accidents. It won't work if you half-arse it.

Wow OP, sorry you've had such aggressive responses so far. Good on you for reaching out for guidance, hopefully someone nicer and more helpful will be along in a minute.

I do think a good week at home with no plans is the best way to go.
when potty training my dd, I was asking her every couple of minutes do you need a wee. And was making her try every 15-30 mins. She soon got the gist of it and she was trained within 5 days.
its hard going some days, but if they’re ready they crack it in a few days.

You don't need to 'remind' at the start you tell them they need to have a wee or whatever and you take them. Have a look at oh crap! Also, you can still avoidbpants when theybare back at nursery, just do baggy joggers or something. Basically if you can't do bare bum, you need clothes that don't feel like a nappy. Your child has spent 2.5years going to the toilet in nappies, they have to unlearn that and learn the socially acceptable way of using a toilet.

W

Is there any chance you can stay at home with him for a few more days? I always think it's best to persevere once you've started. If you keep trying you'll have it cracked by next weekend.

He's doing fine, you'd expect accidents on day two then it should start to fall into place.

Best of luck.

Oops. Fat fingers posted too soon.

You do need to remind him regularly. I know it seems ridiculous to tell them to go to the potty every 10 minutes but it's a completely new thing for them to get their head around and it will take a while to sink in.

I'll be honest, we did take him every 10 minutes. No, it wasn't practical but he was learning, so that inconvenience for a few days was worthwhile until he got it. We did it over the Queen's funeral weekend. He's home on Thursdays and Fridays, so we had five days plus the bank holiday and it worked. Once he'd cracked it, the 10-15 min trips to the toilet stopped.

As most other people have already said, it does need to be very frequent, every 15-30 mins probably.

And, no, it's not practical but that's why you do it over the weekend, so you can dedicate the time to it. Once he's dry with frequent reminders/being taken, you tone it down to less frequent/just asking and then even less frequent asking. It shouldn't take more than a few days.

And you should probably have more faith in the nursery. If they take children in nappies they will be used to potty training, they'll know what to do.

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I can’t take a week off work to do this as I don’t have enough annual leave for that, only got a couple of days left that I’m saving for emergency sick days.

I did look at the oh crap method but I just can’t devote that time to it. My dad had him today and he did his wees on the potty but only did poos when he had a nappy on (once at nap time and once when they nipped to the shops).

I think where I’m getting confused is so many people seem to say that when they’re really ready it happens almost straight away. I’ve got absolutely no issue with persevering and dealing with accidents but I’m also petrified of pushing him if he’s not really ready.

Nursery have said they’re happy to take him with pants and lots of spare clothes tomorrow so I’ll see how he gets on there!

1. I work full time, it’s not feasible for me to spend time off work reminding him every 10 mins

2. He didn’t have loads of accidents. He had none on the first day and four on the second day (more in the potty than not).

I was simply asking for advice / shared experiences as it’s not something I’ve done before.

@Charl881 one thing I'd recommend from oh crap is just putting him in trousers and no pants. It's thought pants may feel a bit snug and encourage more accidents at first. We started training 3 weeks ago and going well, my DD is still going commando in trousers. My nursery were happy to support trousers and no knickers for her until she is more confident

@Kayjay2018 thank you I may try that for nursery tomorrow

@Charl881 the theory is pant feel too like a nappy at first whereas trousers are looser and if the pee it goes down their legs which they don't enjoy. Hope all goes well

Watching this thread with interest. We had a false start potty training in the summer. DD was scared of the potty. We are going to try again at Xmas when we have time off. What I didn’t realise was the need to remind them to go to the potty every ten minutes. That’s news to me.

Well who's looking after him while you're working, can they remind him?

Is he ready yet OP? Does he tell you when he's done something in his nappy?
Sarah ockwell Smiths book on potty training really helped maybe worth a listen/read.

It’s not good to remind them too often, either. I had a 40 minute timer on my watch. After a few days I extended it to an hour. The first week they need to be thinking about it all the time and it’s tiring for them so slip-ups are normal but if you managed a good day it sounds like the time is right. I found nursery was more help rather than less as their routines help plus the other kids are going to the loo too

@Blueberry111 yes he’s been telling me for a while when he is doing something and then ordering me to change his nappy. He also uses the potty / toilet at nursery when taken though then uses nappies in between. But the last couple of days he’s been saying he wants to use a nappy (though is happy enough once it’s off and he’s forgotten about it)

@MolliciousIntent nursery

@Hodgewell1 I definitely didn’t realise we should be doing every 10 mins, especially as he nailed it without that on the first day. But I will be trying it from now. Good luck for when you start, it’s so hard to know when the right time is.

@KitchenSupper That’s really reassuring to hear about nursery. For some reason I just feel bad at the thought of them having to clear up his accidents but I guess they’re used to it?!

They also win when they don’t have to change his nappy, though. However, with each kid I sent in 6 charges of clothes when I started potty training and neither of them ever had a single accident there.

We struggled with this. What has helped is asking every 10-15 mins if she needs a wee, but then physically telling her its wee-wee time every 45 mins or so, and sitting her on the potty. 9 out of 10 times she has a wee, but if we ask her she says she doesn't need one as she didn't recognise the feeling yet.

You may find nursery is a great success- lots of kids going to toilet together at the same time is a good prompt.

Have you asked nursery? Ours reminded DD every 20min til she got it. Only took 3 days and then they didn't have to deal with shitty nappies. They were thrilled.