2 year old not talking - how to stop feeling like a bad mum

[dogmum00]

My ds just turned 2 and has no words yet other than mum and no. I just can't help but think what have I don't wrong. Have I not read to him enough, talked to him enough, let him watch too much tv. It's all I think about as I so desperately want him to start talking. Anyone been in the same boat?

Don’t panic, just talk to him. Kids start talking at different ages - my own two varied by several months. DS2 was later but is no way less able now (teenager).
Just be normal and talk to him. Talk to him when you’re out shopping etc. Do g make a huge thing of it - certainly don’t let him see you upset. Ignore any unhelpful or competitive comments.

My ds1 had a speech delay and many well meaning people told me I could help by talking to him, narrating what I was doing, reading to him or doing flash cards… I was already doing all of that and their advice made me feel so shit, like something I had done or not done had caused it.

It was only when I had ds2 I realised how little I actually had to do with any of it. Ds2 was being raised in the same environment as ds1 and if anything had significantly less attention from me, certainly not the one one one interaction and he came out with full sentences at 14 months and has been ridiculously ahead.

It’s not you so let go of that guilt right away. My little lad is 5 now and apart from a couple of sounds he’s still working on you would never know he’d had a speech delay.

If you haven’t already, speak to your health visitor so you can access help from speech and language but just keep doing what you are doing, I’m sure he will get there at his own pace. 2 is still so young.

@dogmum00 I've just found your post after searching for this exact topic - I'm in exactly in the same boat. My DS is 2 next week and we only have 'ball, bear and car'. Has not even said mum or dad yet... I am also nervous that he doesn't recognise much - he doesn't seem to be able to point out anything in a book for example i.e. a dog, or a cow etc etc.

I've just had my NCT friends chatting on what's app about how their little ones are getting all their counting mixed up - counting?! That's seems so far off and it made me feel so sad. I know we shouldn't compare but I constantly get surprised by what other kids his age, or even younger can do. I am thinking about contacting the health visitor as his childminder has confirmed he is definitely behind, although she said it is not of concern at the moment.

I also can really relate to the feelings of guilt - I think I should be doing flashcards all the time but he's just not that kid who sits still and will look at them with me :(

@jalu47 my ds doesn't point to stuff in books either. If I ask him where something is he normally just grabs the book and throws it. He also doesn't make choices whereas his friend who is 4 months younger does, whether it's what to wear or what to eat etc. and I know what you mean about the counting. Another friend with ds same age has started counting and knowing colours and my ds seems waaaaay off being able to know any of that. I know we shouldn't compare but it's impossible not to when every other kid the same ages seems miles ahead in what they can do. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one going through it so thank you for your comment. My ds doesn't sit still either, he loves rough and tumble and is always on the go and just throws his toys instead of playing with them

@1stimeboymum I have a thrower too and for want of a better phrase what some would describe as a real 'boy's boy'. My mum had a real problem with him this week in an M&S cafe and when she got home was really upset, saying it's 'not normal'. Got me in such a tizz, I know she wasn't meaning to upset me - she was upset herself - but it got me so worried. She finds it really hard to manage him and helps me with childcare so I feel guilty. My nephew was the most chilled out calm little boy so she's had a bit of a shock with mine...

I never thought I'd be this mum, I'm very chilled out and just know there is no point in comparing - I've really surprised myself how emotional I am about it all.

Honestly it's nothing you've done so don't feel like you haven't done enough to help him speak. If f you are chatting to him and reading to him then that's exactly what you should be doing. Sometimes the WhatsApp or Facebook parents groups can more of a hindrance than a help especially once you are out of the small baby stage and the real competitive parenting starts. Next it will be potty training. My DS was slow to talk and it was after two before he said mama. Now he does have autism and he's a total chatterbox now so speech is certainly no longer an issue. However I know lots of parents of slow talkers and absolutely no issues now with their children