My toddler seems to hate me

[LittleMrsMama]

It absolutely breaks my heart that my 2YO DD seems to hate me. I’ve tried not to take it personally but after a year of this it really gets to me and probably doesn’t help that I’m very hormonal at 38 weeks pregnant.

She loves her daddy but never wants me, has tantrums when I try to change her, won’t give me cuddles etc When I tell her I love her she says ‘no I only love daddy’ and recently she’s started hitting me. She tells me to go away and tells me I can’t play with her or I have to sit at the other end of the sofa. I’m sure it doesn’t help that she has a sibling on the way but this behaviour started before I was pregnant.

i feel so sad after growing her for 9 months then taking a year off work to be with her. I think on another level I feel sad as wonder whether DC2 will be the same. I often think what I’ve done wrong but I can’t love her, play with her and do fun things more. It just makes me feel unloveable.

While DH is sympathetic on some level, he tells me not to take it personally but it feels easy for him to say when she is constantly giving him cuddles and telling him she loves her and that he’s her best friend.

i guess i don’t have a question, I just needed to let this all out and see if anyone else has experienced the same.

This sounds awful, both my DC when toddlers went through a phase of wanting only daddy so I do think it's typical toddler behaviour to some extent. Also perhaps it's related to the new baby. What does your DH do when she says these things & only wants to cuddle him?

I haven't experienced this but I'm sure it's fairly common for toddlers to have a preferred parent. It's probably to do with beginning to understand feelings of control, preferences, empathy, power, all of that. It's not "real" and it's not personal, as hurtful as it must be.

What I'd say is that she won't remember this part of her life and it's unlikely to last much longer. Just keep being patient and loving, as you are, that's all you can do.

My two DC are like chalk and cheese. Your newborn will be entirely focused on you, and you may actually find your DD's articulated feelings swing towards you once there is a sibling rival in the mix!

Awww, sending hugs.
At 2 yo they are resisting everything and have very intense emotions, I was also pregnant when my DS was this age and remember screaming tantrums that could last for half an hour! And also being told that 'I'll never cuddle you again!!' by my DS, it was hard on the hormones! Also mine both rejected their Dad at this age which was really painful to see, but did pass, you just have to be consistent and kind and there for her when she needs it. Also get a bit of a thicker skin and not let her see that it upsets you or that you are worried by it, as she will unconsciously pick up on that and then do it to gain negative attention (many kids do this). You haven't done anything wrong, this is just a phase xxx