I've not posted on here before so please bear with me.
I've recently become mum to a beautiful 19 month old girl (well, by recently I mean 19 months ago!).
Just for some background...
Long story short my partner was tested and told he was infertile after testicular cancer treatment so my pregnancy was a shock.
I previously spent my life thinking I did not want children but we decided we wanted to go ahead with the pregnancy and have never regretted it for a second. We are together and happy as a family.
The problem I have is my best friend of two decades didn't seem to deal with my pregnancy very well, she would say things like she needed to make new friends as I wouldn't be around much once the baby was born, or ask if I thought I was doing the right thing.
When my daughter was one day old she messaged me asking if i felt I had made a mistake.
Part of me understands where she was coming from as she doesn't have children and doesn't want any, we used to be on the same page before my surprise pregnancy. Life with a child is very different to life without and spare time for your friends does dwindle, but I found some of the comments hurtful and so did my partner.
To make matters worse she and my partner do not get on AT ALL.
She has previously spoken how she doesn't like him/she thinks he's not right for me and he has been told by other mutual friends that she has told them she feels this way.
They did try to meet up once and bury the hatchet for my sake, she apologised for her comments about the pregnancy which he accepted but then she went on to tell him how he had changed my life for the worse and was making me miserable which didn't go down well with him at all.
He doesn't make me miserable but I was a bit overwhelmed as a new mum at the time and quite teary over probably silly things. Our relationship was a bit strained at times with a newborn but i genuinely think all couples relationships are those first few months, especially as we were first time parents.
She feels she apologised and it's done with. He now dislikes her more than he did before.
As a result he's not keen on our daughter spending time with my friend. He worries she will give off the impression she doesn't approve of him or talk badly about my daughters daddy in front of her.
I don't think she would do this, at least not intentionally but if the shoe was on the other foot I think I would also feel this way, at least a bit, although I don't think I would be as insistent as he is about our daughter not seeing my friend.
I'm stuck in the middle.
He has no problem me seeing my friend without my daughter but does get grumpy when my friend occasionally sees her and isn't happy about it.
With working and being a mum the free time I have is naturally limited.
My friend keeps telling me she is unhappy with our friendship now and she knows she is pulling away from it because of the situation.
I feel like she is making me feel very guilty about how I don't support her/am not there for her like we used to be for each other.
I'm stuck in the middle trying to respect my partners views but also keep my long term friendship alive, we were like sisters.
I love my partner and the family we have together but I also love my friend.
I can see both or their viewpoints (I feel she was quick to judge him and probably too forward with her views) and i just don't know how to move forwards from this.
I guess I'm just asking if anyone else has been in this situation and what the outcome was/how they solved it, or for anyones general thoughts on the matter.