Do you find it easy to make friends at nursery/school run?

[Marghe87]

I am a fairly friendly and likeable person but am a bit quiet and shy to start with so I struggle to make an active effort to chat to others I don’t know.
DD has been going to nursery for over a year now and I only exchange small talk with one of the mums (same nationality, which helped massively in finding something to talk about as a start) but I find it very hard to speak to others. Nobody really seems bothered either so it’s not like I am actively avoiding people. But then, sometimes I see some of the parents chatting away for ages and I can tell they also see each other in other settings and the kids play together etc… I want to make friends for DD’s sake, don’t want her to be isolated with no playdate, no bday parties etc… but it’s hard!
Did you find it easy to make friends and how did you manage!!?

It is only on MN that I hear of people trying to make friends 'at the school gate'.

Between them, my dc went to 2 different infant schools and they all went to the same, separate (stand alone) Nursery school, obviously at different times, and it never crossed my mind that it was a place for me to make friends.

I am quite outgoing, and find small talk easy, so was happy to pass the time of day with people, and - for those walking back in the same direction, you might get to chat more over time, to the level where you would help each other out now and then if you can, but in the way that "parents help each other out and are pleasant to each other" and not anything deeper.

so whereas, in life I do find it easy to make friends, I don't think that standing alongside someone for 5 mins until your child comes out is necessarily an optimum place to do it.

I never bothered trying.

I work so rarely do the school run and I have friends.

I'm polite and smiley when I do go - as is DH - but I'm not looking for a social life out of it.

I found it really hard! If your child has particular friends it’s easier to get talking to their parents “oh are you so and so’s mum, little Davina talks about them all the time” etc

I found it easier at after school activities where you’re hanging around with the same bunch drinking coffee every week.

Have you done a party for your Dc yet? This helps
You can get numbers etc

Find out if there is a group
What's app! They are awful but it helps to
Know who everyone is

I found it hard. Other parents are either competitive cliquey types, or in a rush to get to work. I'd be cheerful and open to chat but look for friendship opportunities elsewhere.