3yo won't admit to being in pain

[Mamabear04]

DD won't admit to when she feels pain. For instance tonight she accidentally pinged a toy in her eye and started crying and wanted her comforter and to sit on my knee for a cuddle. I said "oh that was a sore one are you OK?" And she outright lied and said it wasn't sore. She does this all the time. I noticed a big blue bruise on her leg the other day and I asked her how it happened and she just said she didn't hurt herself. Yesterday was a difficult day with the kids and she accidentally hit me in the head with a box and I let out a few tears (mainly out of the frustration of the day) but she said "it's OK Mummy, it didn't happen, it's ok" and I asked her "if it doesn't happen does that mean it doesn't hurt?" And she said yes. This is all slightly worrying me because I need to know if she hurts herself but she refuses to say if something is sore. She doesn't like going to the Dr but I have said if she tells me what the matter is then we won't need to go to the Dr. One of her molars came in last month and I only found out she was in pain because we were playing with her toy drs set and she let me look in her mouth. I explained to her that if she told me it was sore I could give her calpol and teething gel to help and I thought we made a breakthrough but now she is back to refusing to admit if she hurts herself. Is this normal? What can I do to stop it?

Anyone?

I think you have a couple of issues here

1. She hurt you - by accident or not. But your question was a bit unusual. And in her answer she was trying to comfort you As her Mum I would have asked for an apology and a hug if it was deliberate. If it was an accident I would have said oh mummy is a bit tired and sometimes people cry when they are tired
2. my dC have had huge bruises that they don’t remember how they got them! It could be she has a high pain threshold. Three year olds are a bit young to understand the concept of lieing. She could be very independent and not want help. I would just keep encouraging her to tell you when she is hurt. Or model what to do when in pain with dolls or other toys.

hopefully others also have advice

I don’t think this is unusual, my 7 year old daughter will adamantly deny she is ill even when vomiting and shivering. I don’t know why, and she can be really tricky to give calpol too (unheard of!!)

Also re bruises- kids fall all the time and depending on where they land the bruise can actually look an awful lot worse than it is, so I wouldn’t worry about her not knowing about that.

I don’t think this is that big a deal tbh. I remember that I didn’t like saying I was ill as a child because my mum and gran would make a big deal and keep asking me about it, i just wanted to deal with it myself and be left alone. Unless she’s seriously hurt which you would notice, I wouldn’t make an issue of it?

I don’t have any answers for you, just to say that my DD has always been very much like this. She still is and she is almost a teen. It’s frustrating because as you say you need to know when something is wrong. I’ve talked to my DD about the importance of letting us know if she is hurt or in pain with something. Sometimes she will say she has a tummy ache or headache or something, but other times she will say something hurts and that it’s been like it a few days, but hasn’t said anything! If she falls over she can cut her knee open and will behave like it didn’t happen and say nothing hurts. I don’t understand why. My other child is open when they have hurt themselves, will cry, will ask for a plaster etc, will tell us if they feel unwell straightaway, so I don’t think it’s anything we have done ‘wrong’ with our reactions to things. I accept it when she says she is fine though, I sometimes ask if she is sure she is ok, but that’s all. She is a very independent character so I wonder if it plays a part in it.

Thanks for all your responses, it's actually reassured me that other kids do this too! Will just have to keep a close eye on her...