Trying To See My Son but Ex Wont Let Me

[Matt20]

I posted here before and got good advice so hope its ok to post here again. I am just trying to understand what my ex expects me to do.

I haven't seen my son whose 9 now for nearly 2 years. Before that I saw him most weeks and I got on well enough with my ex.

I was in prison for nearly a year and when I got out I wanted to see him again but my ex didnt want me until I came off electronic tag. I agreed to that and continued just to write to him and phone him. When I was finished on tag I tried to make arrangements but she jept on trying to pyt it off. Eventually we agreed to a supervised visit centre but backed out after me paying for it.

I went to see her after that. She wouldnt talk with me and I ended up involved with her bf and police were called . I got arrested and ended up back in prison on recall.

She has since got an anti molestation order against me so means I cant even contact her ir they can have me put back in prison again. While I was in this time I couldnt contact my son. The last time he saw me was that day at the house with the poluce in handcuffs being put in the van.

I know Ive made mistakes but have never done anything bad to my son and just want to be part of his life in some way. I cant understand what my ex expects me to do if she wont let me see him or even talk to hin. I am thinking that she is more interested in her new life with her partner than me having a relationship with my son. They are probably turning him against me also.

I know Ive gone on but just neede to vent and see uf people think I am beibg reasonable or if there us anything I can do or am I expected just to forget about my son?

Keep writing to him with positive stuff but stop trying to force contact by putting pressure on your ex, otherwise things will back fire big time, you have a non molestation order for a good reason.

If you want to see your child you need to prove to CAFCASS, your ex and even SS if things are really bad, that you can hold your temper to ensure your child is safe and not witnessing violence.

You will need to go to court, but you will need to prove you are safe and reliable so take it easy, make the best of your life and don’t blame the lack of contact on your ex and much less so in her new life, she is just ensuring her son is safe and unfortunately, your behaviour is not reassuring her.

Honestly I can see her point of view, the fact that you lost your temper to the point of violence even though your son was watching definitely marks you out as someone who isn't stable enough to have contact with a child.

If I were you, I'd keep writing letters, postcards, etc etc, pay as much maintenance as you can as regularly as you can, and work hard on getting your life on track and your temper under control. If you can prove to court that you're holding down a job and doing anger management classes and not putting a toe out of line, they're likely to grant you supervised visits at first, and hopefully eventually unsupervised visits.

Pay maintenance, send letters and speak to a solicitor

Why were you in prison?

From his other thread he was jailed for section 20 grievous bodily harm, with a weapon, and has other convictions for actual bodily harm.

Not sure this website is a great place for advice for a repeat convicted violent man to access a child? I’m certain there are better agencies you can choose, many were linked on your pre-prison thread. But what do I know.

Exactly. What do you mean by 'got involved with her bf'? So you didn't get your way (even though you paid for it - who's been paying for your son while you've been in jail?) and turned violent? Yeah you'd have to drag me through every court in the land to get anywhere near my kid.