Do intense high needs babies ever chill out?

[Exworrier]

DS1 was an easy baby, slept through the night from about 3m old - slept 7-7, 2 naps a day of 2h, hardly cried, didn’t crawl til 11m and then walked at 14m. Has always been chilled and easy going.

DS2 is… a bit of a handful to say the least. He is almost 1, very clingy with me, has never slept well, wakes every 4h still, sometimes refuses both naps or at least the afternoon one, cries a lot, is very stroppy and stubborn, doesn’t eat or just messes around constantly, will wake up in the night and be awake for 2, sometimes 3h, wakes early. Has just started crawling but literally wants to break and ruin everything in reach, pinches and pulls the cat.

Sounds bad but sometimes I despair with him. Has anyone had a particularly trying baby that went on to be a lovely, easy going toddler? 🙏

It might be worth trying to get rid of the wee hours feed. He should be eating a fair amount of solids now, so won't miss it. I know you said he screams blue murder without it (mine did too when we took it away), but you may find once he realises there is no milk until morning, he sleeps better in that part of the night. It made a worthwhile difference with both my DCs, even if it wasn't a cure-all - short term pain (plus apologies to the neighbours and ear plugs and grit for you) is worth the better sleep for everyone longer term. We offered lots of hugs, patting, pacing dummies and sips of water in place of the milk much to DD's anger . They both eventually realised their efforts were futile and stopped waking for it.

This is what I would like to do. I’m scared to try it though because he screams so loudly and I’m afraid he’ll disturb DS1 who has just started school and needs every bit of sleep he can get. Also we made progress on it by cutting down the night feeds from 7oz to 5oz but honestly it has just made him worse. Should I do cold turkey do you think?

Yeah, I'd go cold turkey. There's no point dragging it out. Could you start on Friday so you get the worst 2 nights done when DC1 can sleep in/chill the next day?

@SkankingWombat Ok. Might just have to bite the bullet.

Yes, me! Both of mine were very, very hard work as babies (both had reflux, so were in pain a lot of the time) and then grew into completely chilled out, fun toddlers.

They always were and continue to be high energy, but they grew more and more fun the older they grew.

1 year olds don't need 3 naps a day...

My DS is 8mo and has just transitioned from 3 to 2 naps.

@Calphurnia88 uh yes they do 🤣🤣🤣 not every single one but most

Mine did! DD was a very high needs baby (nursery described her as “extreme” but “if it’s any consolation she’s very bright”).

She’s now 3 and a half and an angel most of the time. I get loads of comments on how sunny natured and well behaved she is.

They don't...

I'm generally not a fan of prescribed sleep schedules (different babies have different sleep needs) but look up sleep recommendations by age and you'll see that one year olds are expected to need 2 naps a day.

Mine did. Why don't you do the research?

I've literally just explained how I've 'done the research' (clue: look up recommended sleep schedules for one year olds) and caveated with the fact that different babies do have different needs, which clearly yours did.

I'm not going to argue with a stranger on the internet who can't be arsed to use Google. Have a great Sunday ✌🏻

Same. DS2 became easier the more independent he could be, basically he hated being a baby. Now he’s a 30yr old well-travelled individual, curious, engaged with social justice etc. But utter hell as a baby. He never slept longer than 45 mins at a time, impossible to wean, cried all the time, awful. Needless to say I ended up in therapy for PND. Adorable now, Mr Popular, everyone loves him, his teachers adored him. Hold your nerve OP

Sleep training at 15 months turned my grouchy, whiny DS into a chilled out joy of a toddler and an excellent sleeper

What method did you use for sleep training?

I’d drop the dreamfeed, put him to bed a bit later eg 7pm and see how long he sleeps through until.

I found the terrible two's a walk in the park after having a nightmare baby! Nothing compares to a nightmare baby IMO.

Mine both did!! Am always amazed when I see babies not crying because it’s all mine did but both amazing toddlers and children :)

My DD2 has been tricky since birth and is still very tricky at 3.5y. People always comment on the difference between my two DD. They are like day and night.