What’s your NCT group like?

[HopefulRose]

Just interested in hearing other people’s experiences really. We did the NCT course in February, the women are nice but it does feel highly competitive. Wondering if it’s down to the characters in the group or just the nature of the thing of putting X amount of women together?

If you did an nct group, how long did you all stay in touch for? Was it a positive or negative experience and did it help shape your identity as a parent?

asking because I now worry about things I’m not sure I would have done without it however I’ve also had some fun times as a result of it and have felt less alone.

I don’t speak with any of them now. I met up with one other mum once and we didn’t really click. My experience may be different from the norm as we did our classes via zoom as it was lockdown so it didn’t really allow for us to get to know each other very easily

DS1 is 3.5 and still in touch with some of the mums. We live in quite a tight-knot community so we bump into other families a fair bit too. Of the 8 couples that were in the group, we see 2 others regularly and there are other 'break off' groups too.

We did nct pre-natal in Nov-Dec 2019, for DS1 was born in early Feb 2020. Of eight couples, I'm still in regular contact (ie WhatsApp group) with four or five of the mums. That said, of the eight couples, four of us have also moved away from the area where we live.

As a group they were totally invaluable during the pandemic, we were all going through the same newborn phases in lockdown together. Those girls were worth every penny I paid to NCT!!

Bloody awful. Not seen any of them since dd was 6 weeks old.

Mine was great - a real lifeline in those early days. I'm still in touch with (most of) them 15 years on. It's the luck of the draw, though. I did an NCT refresher course with dc2 and although they were all nice enough, we didn't really gel and drifted after a couple of meet ups.

We still get together a few times a year 16yrs on. The teens all get on well.

I’m still in touch with a couple
of mine, not lifelong friends though, more an important connection at an important time but we don’t have loads in common otherwise.

Great group, kids are all nine now. Many moved away but we still meet up occasionally and the WhatsApp group is very supportive

Amazing. Kind, chilled, loving and thoughtful. Very aware that I'm incredibly lucky.

Absolutely lovely and a godsend. There are 9 of us and we've all just celebrated our babies first birthdays. We met regularly in the week for lunches and playdates which was so fantastic during mat leave, and our whatsapp group is amazing, everyone is so lovely and supportive. I legit feel so proud of their babies haha. I don't think groups of women are inherently competitive, not sure where that came from. I do think its luck of the draw - I convinced a friend to do it and her group just didn't really click.

Great. Like others have said it was an absolute lifeline in the early days. We all met up once a week. Three couples drifted but five of us still meet regularly nearly six years later. We also all club together and buy birthday gifts for each other. I feel very lucky.

The best - and some of my closest friends. Babies have all flown the nest but mums still meet up ❤️.

DD is 2 now. I haven’t really seen most of them since she turned one and everyone went back to work. They’re lovely enough ladies but we just didn’t gel. One of them I still see every now and then

Mine is fab - our little ones are 15 months now and we still meet up at least weekly. Ours isn't competitive at all, which I think helps - much easier to talk about worries or ask questions when no one is boasting about their child playing Mozart at 1!

We are 2 years in and deffo got lucky with our group… 5 of the 6 couples all get on well and we have big get-togethers / play dates, girls’ nights outs, lads’ nights and the occasional couples’ nights.

No one is particularly competitive, we usually compare tales of woe and poor sleep instead of boasting!!

I got a nice group. Don't always physically catch up but the what's app group is still going strong over 3 years later, we all message at least weekly.

My group was good. Useful for the first year and we’d all meet up when on mat leave etc. Still close to two of the women, the rest I didn’t have loads to say to really outside of talking about the babies. All nice though.

We all got along - but very surface level chat. Definitely not what I would consider a long lasting friendship.

DD is 6 months old and I only talk to 2
from my NCT group now, which is disappointing but we didn’t really gel, and DP and I were excluded from meet ups that happened when the babies were tiny, which I found quite hurtful at the time.

I had a nice group (except one woman I found annoying). We stayed in touch until our DC were around a year old, then gradually drifted apart. I'm not in touch with any of them now but they were a lifesaver when I was clueless and had a tiny newborn.

Pretty amazing 15 y on and still going strong. All of us too. No drifters.

We drifted

Didn't work for me. V quickly realised I wasn't welcome/didn't gel/ couldn't fit in with them. I had pnd and dd had severe colic and reflux we didn't fit in in their aspirational glossy little group. Saw 4 of them having coffee once I'd clearly not been invited and I stayed a deliberately long time chatting when I bumped into them watching them cringe. I'm sure some groups of women can be lovely, just in 48 years never really found one.

out of 5 couples, 3 of us are very close still after six years. The other 2 moved away. In that first year we found other new mums and our group is now 7 who meet regularly, go away together and the children are close too. I think it’s luck of the draw as neither of my SILs have kept in touch with theirs.

I think in most cases, if nothing else, it's a lifeline for those first few months - the 3am WhatsApp chats, the other people who are obsessive as you are.

If you're lucky, you build a few really strong friendships and a good circle of acquaintances.

One woman and I are still v good friends - hang out a lot, share, kids are close etc. Another one was close but she moved away - I'd love to be closer but our friendship wasn't solid enough before they moved, exacerbated by Covid. The rest are more in the background and I enjoy bumping into them and over time our children might land up at the same schools or extra curricular activities. So it's nice.