Needed a Vent 😔

[JenC87]

Here we are 5 in the morning currently i have been fighting with my 2yo since 4 this is a daily occurrence but I suppose its better than a few nights ago when it was from 11.45 finally gave in at 5.10 but was then up at 6 😔..
Another night I sit alone i feel tears streaming down my face mixed emotions of failure exhaustion loneliness and frustration..

From day 1 my LG has been a terrible sleeper after 2yr check mw suggested sensory issues maybe a factor (other things included in this suggestion) yet 4 months down the line still no further to getting any help.

I feel like im drowning and fighting a losing battle i am exhausted but have to keep going i know the messed up sleep has an impact on my Lgs behaviour i have tried napping during the day but its like she can never catch up and naps effect her on a night..

I also have a son and this is starting to effect him also she is waking him up hes struggling to get up for school my lg is becoming very violent towards us both on a daily occurrence..

I have no help around me even though i have family i cant let mt lg go ro my inlaws as ahe is left to do as she pleases and isn't watched properly my mum doesnt have her as shes "too tired" but this annoys me as she will have my brothers son so he can go out with his mates i dont have a life my life consists of nursery/school runs cleaning shopping cleaning cooking tea cleaning washing ironing cleaning bed time cleaning more im not me anymore i have sobbed to my mum and told her how exhausted i am her reply is sleep during the day ornwhen LG attend nursery but i need to use these days to do shopping etc as LG doesnt cope well..

I feel as though im failing my kids BIG TIME and reading this back i sound pathetic but i just needed to vent 😒

You sound at the end of your tether.

Could you get a supermarket delivery instead of shopping? Iceland do free delivery if you buy £40 of goods, and they also do same day delivery from £3.

I sort of agree with your mum, sleep when she is asleep or when she is at nursery.

Your house does not need to be a palace, cut down some of the cleaning.

If you see my posts I'm often awake early, and I mean early, 2am is not uncommon. I just do what I can when I can (disabled and I have a carer so I do have support) but if you are going to be awake anyway you might as well get up and do the dishes or put some washing on, as long as it doesn't wake your little boy or your neighbours.

Have you tried a weighted blanket for your little girl?

Are you single? You mention your in laws so where is dad?

Chase up the health visitor about the sensory issues and it might be worth a trip to speak to the GP about it too. This is well outside the norms of even a very poor sleeper. I had/have one of those, although she is 8yo now and only still struggles with getting to sleep these days. She has recently been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, and her sleep problems form a part of that.
Have you tried switching up how she's sleeping? Eg night lights/no lights, warmer room/cooler room, cosleeping etc. I saw a big improvement in the number of night wakings when I moved DD1 out of a sleeping bag and started using a duvet, and again when she moved to a single bed. She likes to sleep like a starfish and stick a leg out from the cover to regulate her temperature in the night, so a small bed and restrictive covers didn't work for her. Getting to sleep at a reasonable time has been a harder fix, but it was recommended to us at a sleep forum to try a much later bedtime (with the option to slowly move it earlier once working). This has helped along with allowing time to read alone quietly in bed before lights out. I appreciate this last part is a few years off for you yet, but maybe you could read extra stories to achieve similar? It is so their mind can cut out all the multiple strands of racing thoughts from the day and relax just focusing on one thing whilst the bed gets snuggly-warm. The other important factor for us is exercise - plenty of physically exhausting exercise with bonus points if it is outside. At 2yo, DD1 would go to a park, playgroup, or softplay every day (and we'd walk there are back if possible!). We had membership of a local zoo and treated it as a park - took her scooter and spent several hours a couple of times a week marching/scooting round. She had weekly swimming and gymnastics classes too. He sleep is noticeably worse if she hasn't been active enough.

In the short-term, you DM is totally right about sleeping whilst DD is at nursery. I do understand needing to use the time to do all the jobs, but you sound at breaking point and at that point sleep is more important than a clean bathroom. Even if it is just for a few hours every other day. It will allow you to see the woods from the trees again, formulate an action plan, and have the energy to try it out. Everything is easier with sleep. You need to recharge yourself to then help your DD.