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Happy kids without “proper” friends- issue?

5 replies

Lindtnotlint · 05/11/2022 23:00

Hello

I have three DC, in years 2,3 and 5. They are (I think!) nice kids - they play pleasantly, are kind, not selfish or violent. They know how to be around other kids - they share etc.

They are all pretty happy and enjoy school. They go to a charming two form entry school, and all seem to find people to play with at break, go on play dates (though not lots) and not be bullied or anything like that. But none of the three of them have a close friend. It’s all fairly loose - and I get the impression they are slightly drifting around the playground finding some game that’s going on and gently joining in. They never have regular play dates with the same kids or show any signs of real ongoing friendships (though there are definitely kids in Year 5 who that kid is closer too than others).

it isn’t a big issue right now - they are happy, and they mostly play together at home. They are a lovely gang and have a lot of positive adults around too. But part of me is worried I have done this wrong somehow- I thought there would be “best friends” or even just actual “friend friends” by now for at least one of the three of them…. And I worry they aren’t getting the “experience of having a close friend” that (maybe??) is important before secondary school.

it’s not like there is much I can do either way (our life doesn’t have room for lots of new activities and stuff to meet new kids, and their school sort of is what it is). But am I ok to be relaxed about this “problem” - or should I be freaking out?

(side point, eldest kid is not 100% NT and is fairly introverted so maybe that’s impacting things a little. But the pattern seems to be across all three of them…)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Taradiddled · 05/11/2022 23:01

Do you have close friends? What kind of friendships are you modelling?

Pinkbananas01 · 05/11/2022 23:11

As long as they're happy I wouldn't worry. My DD now 14 was like this until a girl joined her class from another school aged 10 & they just clicked as BFs.

De88 · 05/11/2022 23:14

Totally normal.

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ForWorth · 05/11/2022 23:18

Sounds completely normal and nice. Better to have a few kids to play with than super close friendships that turn into frenemies soon enough at that age. Your little ones sound fab, don't doubt them or yourself.

sloanedanger · 06/11/2022 19:30

My DS is Year 2 and the opposite end of the spectrum! He has three friends and that seems to be it. One of these is a girl and she doesn’t really play with the boys so much now so it’s just two at play times. I have worried about that!

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