Toddler , new sibling, sharing mum

[EllaWt]

Hi Mums!
we have a 2 week old DD and a 23 months old DD.
The toddle is struggling massively. She is going through the usual regressions (wanting more of her dummy, more milk etc) and I am not too worried about this yet.
However she goes into complete meltdown if I so much as touch the baby. I can't carry her , I can't push the baby's buggy etc. I have resorted to going into another room when I need to take care of her and I realise it's not healthy or sustainable.
I have had a c section so I am also less able to take care of the toddler even though I really do 90% of what I used to do.
I really dont know what to do..

What are you expecting the toddler to do while you're with the baby? You need to set her up to succeed, so she needs somethin fun and lovely to do while you're dealing with the baby, and if possible you need to still be talking/engaging with her while you're with the baby.

Ha I see - i am not at the stage where I am expecting her to fo anything yet because i literally cannot approach the baby without her melting down

I would do one on one time with the toddler, play a toy they enjoy or something they like. Try not to have any distractions and focus on them.

I would also give them a "job" to do when you care for the baby so include them in it. "Time for us to get baby dressed shall baby wear this or this? " , "mummy needs to change babies nappy can you pass me a nappy?", "could you blow bubbles for baby or show baby how to pop bubbles?" I would really include the toddler to let them know your a family and the babies their brother/ sister and not their replacement.

Good luck OP I have 3 now and it's not always easy but one day they will have a cute sibling moment and it will warm your heart 💖

Do you have a partner? My toddler did this, but it was with his Dad. He accepted pretty early on that I had to feed the baby and couldn't play like I used to (post c section). God forbid his Dad tried to touch the baby though... that was his Daddy and he wasn't willing to share him too.

@CatSeany yeah my husband is a god send because she totally accepts that he cares for the baby ... how did your little one get over it with his dad? Did you force it or just time did its thing?

@Superfrog3 thank you ! I will try this ... 3 oh wow i very much admire you