AIBU using a nappy at night for my 4yo?

[Evie24]

Just wanted to get people's opinions. DD has just turned 4 and still isn't dry at night. I work in a reception class and know that many of kids still aren't dry at night. We still use a regular nappy on DD as she doesn't wake up in the night and has never kicked up a fuss. She wakes up with a very full nappy in the morning and would rather wear it than have wet sheets. My sister was round the other night dropping of DD's birthday card and I had just got DD ready for bed. She obviously saw the nappy out the top of the pyjama bottoms and said to me "Isn't she a bit old for them now?" to which DD heard and was very embarrassed about.

I calmed DD down as she got a bit upset about it all and thankfully she was fine. Am I being unreasonable still using a nappy?

Ime pull ups /night time pants are a must not a nappy!

Strange. If she isn’t dry at night then no it isn’t unreasonable. Surely you know to ignore your sister? You work in reception yet have to ask if you should stop using a nappy because of something your sister said?

You're unreasonable to use a nappy on a school age child, yes. If she's not dry at night, use pull-ups, and then she can put them on and take them off herself, pull them down if she needs a wee while awake, and doesn't feel like a baby. Nappies are not great for autonomy and personal dignity, once you're out of the baby stage, IMO.

My DS is nearly 4 and still uses a nappy at night. We are trying to teach him to use the toilet before bed and then again straightaway in the morning but it's slow going. Different children master it at different times. I'm hopeful in the next few months he'll be fine.

YANBU. Your sister should have thought before saying something in front of your DD.

(Should have said pull-up!)

My mum was on at me about this from when DD was 3 and it annoyed me. I think you know best when the right time to try to go dry at night is.

I was really unsure about when to try but a friend at playgroup said if you want to give it a go, make sure you have a spare quilt and bottom sheet to hand if you have to do a quick bedding change in the night. It was helpful advice.

I think trust what you think is best here, I ignored my mum and talked my DD about having a dry bed at night when I thought she might be ready. we put her to bed in the summer initially with no pjs/pants/ nappy with the potty next to her bed, and have her a (little) treat each morning for the first couple of weeks when she did a dry bed.

it was straightforward so of course my mum said I’d left it too late and she was ready ages before etc, but I thought well, it was one nappy a day, not the end of the world, and when she was ready it was really easy. Trust yourself. X

Thanks for the advice so far, I agree with what people have said. We have tried pull ups and a leaving a potty in her room. However she treated the pull ups like a nappy and didn't use the potty or anything. I don't see a point using pull ups and potentially having leaks when the nappies we use are fine.

YANBU
One of my DS still wears one at night and he is 6. He has a continence nurse due to a bowel issue he has and she says some children just aren't dry at night at that age.
If she needs one, she needs one and if you find nappies better than pull ups, just use them.

The point about pull-ups rather than nappies is for dignity and autonomy. If they're leaking try a different brand, IMO nappies are inappropriate on children old enough to dress themselves.

I would use what works best, we use a mixture of nappies and pull ups. I have always found nappies to be better as we have a tummy sleeper.

Some kids aren't dry at night until long past 4. Do whatever is best for your DD.
I don't think Drs will look into it until children are something like 7? Eric website might be helpful.

Mine had them until just short of their 5th birthday and I wet the bed as a kid ap clearly should have stayed in nappies longer.

If the alternative is wet sheets every night it would be daft not to have her in a nappy! The only thing it might be worth watching is whether she is using the convenience of the nappy first thing in the morning rather than getting up. We thought DD wasn't dry at night, it turned out she was deliberately weeing in her pull-up when waking up rather than get out of the nice warm duvet to go to the cold toilet. Bribes and whisking her out of bed to plonk on the toilet before putting her back in bed with us in pants to snuggle sorted it.

My son's skinny and wasn't dry at night until 8 years old. We tried pull ups (many brands) but they ALWAYS leaked. We just used nappies in the end - like I said, he's skinny and size 6+ fitted him perfectly. The nappies never leaked!

My two are active in their sleep (turn full circles, sleep walk etc) and pull ups leaked in every brand and size so both stayed in nappies until they were dry at night. It’s hormonal so no amount of bribery will sort it.

Mine is nearly 4 and isn’t dry at night. He doesn’t seem to care whether he wears nappies/pull-ups/dry nites. I find the dry nights are a bit big for him yet. The night pull-ups (age 2-4) are absolutely useless. The rascal ones from Tesco are pretty good. I would be fuming with my sister if she shamed my son for that. He’s a deep sleeper and he can’t help it.

My 4.5 year old wears pull ups at night. He was in regular nappies until a couple of months ago as he always refused to wear pull ups and said he didn't like them, then one day we managed to persuade him to give them another go and he's been ok with them since. But nappies never bothered him at all. In terms of being dry overnight I don't think a Gp will see a kid about this until they are 6 or 7 so nothing to worry about there-totally normal.

Your sister is an idiot. As has been said a million times on these threads, it is hormonal and she will be dry when she is ready. What is the point in her being in pants and wetting the bed every night, she's not learning anything and you would just be setting her up to fail when she can't control it. You already know lots of kids still in nappies/pull-ups in reception so why are you even listening to your sister who is clearly just ignorant.

Does your sister have kids?

My 5.5 yo is still in a pull up at night - recently they are sometimes dry but mostly not - not something I’m worried about. What’s the alternative, constantly washing wet sheets? If they’re not ready they’re not ready!

Totally normal not to be dry at night at that age. However, I would use a pull up or nappy pants, not the taped ones, just so she can take care of it herself independently.

Does your sister have any kids herself? I would be so angry!

DD would hate me for saying this but we ran out of her nappy pants on holiday and put a regular nappy on her and she said that the nappies were a lot comfier and said the nappy pants were itchy. Since we have been back we have just kept using nappies. I put it on her just before she gets into bed and I will change her out of it first thing in the morning.

I wouldn't use a nappy at that age. As soon as my now 3 year old states potty training we switched to a pull up at night. A pull up for any child wet at night is absolutely fine I would say. Far better than being wet. Have a try of different brands and sizes.

Here to reassure you. My DD is 6 and still wears a pull up. She was dry in the day quite young but the night time thing just hasn't kicked in for her yet. It was the same for my DS who only properly transitioned out of them from around 7. I recall my DH being worried but from what I read at the time, this was normal for some children. I trusted my gut, didn't make it an issue (unlike your sister!) and it sorted itself over time. I do think my children are not typical but it's still nothing to be ashamed of as they are all different.

I was a late bedwetter (think I might have wet the bed for the last time in early high school!!) and know it’s partially genetic so my 4 year old is in pull ups and I will wait for a string of dry nights before taking them off.

There was a podcast about bed wetting on the Parent Hood which I found helpful. Your sister was pretty thoughtless.

My sons both wore nappies until they were 7. Pull ups pants leaked. They were skinny so wore pull up nappies.