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My partners left me..

4 replies

Stressedmummaa · 04/11/2022 02:44

My partners left me we have a 5 month old baba together and he has a 5 year old daughter from a previously relationship.

I’m just feeling so hurt right now..
I got pregnant quite quickly into our relationship and him and his daughter moved into my house.. I got used to her living with me while I was pregnant (which was quite tiring) she lived with us full time as her mums and alcoholic and she doesn’t see her..
At the beginning he told me there was no pressure with his daughter she knows who her mum is and she doesn’t need me to act like a step mum!

I’ve struggled to build a good relationship with his daughter as all her mums family are involved and they takeover.. also my partner has a strong relationship with her that I struggle to fit into.. she can do whatever she wants and goes to bed late and if I say anything about it.. it’s taken wrongly and offensively.. what she says goes before anything I say! We don’t have any time together..
I’ve tried my best to be a there for her and make her feel at home and supported but everything is do is never good enough and he tells me I don’t.. I feel I can’t do anything right by her..

When our son was born I feel he hasn’t been there for us.. he’s always working including some evenings and weekends and anytime he’s not he’s out doing things with his daughter.. I’m on my own with our son most of the time.. and feel he makes no effort to spend time with his son and me..
he’s put so much pressure on me about doing everything for his daughter while becoming a new mum.. wants his food on the table when he comes in late, to pick her up and sort her food, bathed and ready for bed while he’s doing more work while keeping the house tidy I’ve struggled to do everything while also looking after our son the same time…
My hormones have also been all over the place.. I spoke to him about this the other week and said I was struggling as he’s never home and he’s taken it as I can’t accept his daughter and he has now left me.. I’ve tried my best to be a good step mum while being a first time mum to our boy! But he calls me a shit step mum and says im not there for her and can’t accept her..
im just so hurt by how it’s all gone.. I didn’t think this would happen.. am I in the wrong? My heads all over the place..

OP posts:
Girlsontour · 04/11/2022 02:53

This man is an utter user and cocklodger you are better off without him.

FlowerArranger · 04/11/2022 03:05

Oh dear.
This guy was looking for convenient and cheap accommodation, a childminder for his daughter, a cleaner, a general skivvy, and someone who provides sex on tap.

Aka a cocklodger.

It's really great that you didn't. I've up to his outrageous expectations. Count your blessings that you are rid of him.

And, whatever you do, don't let him move back in when the woman he replaced you with doesn't live up to his expectations either, or kicks him out.

KateBalesCardi · 04/11/2022 03:08

My darling you were never going to win with this man, the fact that his DD rules the roost and your feelings/opinions didn't matter tells me everything I needed to know about him. It won't feel like it now but you've had a lucky escape, imagine how stressed, undermined and ground down you would have been by the time his DD hit her teens. You're doing everything alone already and that can only be easier without him and his DD to run around after. Focus on yourself and your DS now and be glad you are free of having to jump through his hoops Flowers

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autienotnaughty · 04/11/2022 03:51

Sounds like he's done you a favour. You do not deserve that. Now you need to think about you and your don and what's best for you.

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