Toddler doesn't want me

[Lazyhazydays]

Tried posting but it posted halfway through, hopefully deleted first one so this should not duplicate but sorry if it does.

I broke my ankle when my DS was 11mo, he is now 15mo and I'm only just starting to weight bear after a long recovery (2 operations 7 weeks apart). I've not been able to be left alone with him because I can't look after him safely and I can't carry him, bath him, walk him in pram, get on the floor to play with him or generally do much. I can feed him and play from my chair and I talk and sing and read books but have struggled to do much else.

Bedtimes have been my husband for the past few months because I couldn't get up the stairs and I couldn't get out of the baby's room quietly, I can't even stand holding him to put him in cot.

DS generally wants his dad more than me because dad has been primary caregiver since this happened. He goes to nursery and is fine there but whenever he is handed to me he cries 90% of the time and over the last couple of days this is constant. He has been ill which hasn't helped.

Tonight he was sick so I went to help and got him cleaned up and changed and tried to cuddle him and the whole time he was screaming and reaching for his dad. He bit me to get out of my arms and settled when my DH took him (DH had been cleaning mattress).

I thought when I started to move around more DS would start to settle with me again but now I feel like he will never want me and never let me do bed time or anything for him.

What can I do to help him love me again and see me has his mum again? I love him so much I just feel so sad.

Full disclosure I have suffered badly with anxiety following late miscarriage before DS and through pregnancy and first year so I know that doesn't help.

Any advice to help repair our relationship will be welcome.

Lots and lots of quality time. Ride out the tantrums, don't hand over to DH, and just persevere.

I think once you are able to be alone with him it will come back. Could you start to spend time with him each day where your DH is upstairs but ‘on call’ if needed. Maybe have some new toys to pull out for your one to one time and try to have fun together. Bubbles, play doh or whatever he likes best atm.
I’m sure it will come back, toddlers are fairly straightforward and have short memories.

My heart breaks for you. I had something similar, and the temporary wedge it drove between me and my little boy was heartbreaking.

Let me reassure you that your baby still loves you! I think its just they like things to be the same, he probably didn't like it when Dad had to take over and has kinda gone even more that way now he senses change again.

Like everything, he will adapt and get used to everything going back to the way they were.

I found doing bedtime together with hubby helped for a little while until you could tell he didn't care anymore lol. Then one night it was just me and babba and all was well again. It didn't happen overnight but it did happen.

Keep the consistency. He doesn't need to love you again, he already does. I don't think you're silly for saying that. That's what I believed too. Looking back, I can see through fresher eyes that wasn't the case.

I guess not much advice just a hug and me asking you to believe the love hasn't gone away. I cried a lot believing my little boy did not love me anymore, and that I'd lost him. This was never the case, I see it now and you will too very soon. He already sees you as Mam, he loves you, just needs time to feel settled again.

He loves you, you love him, keep going with it all and believe me when I say this is VERY temporary.

Big hug

Thank you for your messages
@Crikee your story helps a lot, it's hard to believe it in the moments that he is screaming with me but I will keep trying and as you all say will keep some consistency and try some new toys and favourite toys with him and persevere.

Thank you all, it has helped x