Potty training - nights

[Cait73]

Decided to keep 3.5 year old in a nappy at night but every night he's up 'till 10/11pm saying he needs the toilet, which he doesn't, he insists on sitting on the toilet only getting off to get a toy to keep him company

If I try to return him to bed he refuses to put his pull up back on and just screams

I don't know what to do

Put a potty in his room and a night light and leave him to it. Once it's no longer an excuse to stay up later, he'll get over it.

Yes this sounds like a way of delaying bedtime rather than a potty training issue. I think he’s using it as a line because it works!

Is he waking up with wet nappies? If so, and you think he needs to keep wearing it, then ‘it’s time for bed not the bathroom’. He can fall asleep without it and you put it on when he’s asleep if it’s a massive fight to keep it on.

If he’s regularly dry at night, I would agree undies on, potty in the room as PP suggested.

He's not always dry overnight and his stools are loose and unpredictable, 10 minutes after I insisted he get off the toilet he soiled his nappy has removed it himself, you can imagine the mess

The gp thought he was lactose intolerant but he's not, we're waiting to see a paediatrician to find out what's bothering his tummy

It's not always messy most times it's fine, it's just not regular and consistency unpredictable

If the GP thinks he's lactose intolerant, is he DF? If he's non-ige to dairy he's going to find it very hard to control his bowels unless his diet is free from the things that he's allergic to.

So, he did need the toilet then? If he feels he needs the toilet and can't 'go' that's different to he clearly doesn't and he's playing for time to stay up.

Are you keeping a food diary to see if you can pinpoint something specific?

If you need him to keep his pull up on you could try a star chart for that specifically.

Can you put him in a nightshirt and leave a potty kn

Leave a potty in his room so he can just go if he needs to?

Yes been keeping food diaries for 10 months eliminated diary first, then lactose

He's definitely sensitive to full fat milk but fine with all other dairy

He's only actually been to the toilet once out of 7 nights sitting on/off it for several hours

I've talked to pre school who are also concerned how impossible it is for him to know when he's going to go, the really loose stools he calls "speedy poo" because he says it just arrives

Pre school would be happier with him in pull ups but now he's in pants he's really reluctant to wear nappies in the day

@PritiPatelsMaker food intolerance is very different to food allergies, allergies have been ruled out due to NON severity of symptoms like he's not vomiting etc

@MolliciousIntent unfortunately not his stools are loose he's unable to clean himself up, he's tried once it was disastrous bless him, I was so proud of him for trying but wish he hadn't!!

Have you tried a onesie? If he doesn't have access to his nappy he won't take it off. Is it full in the mornings?

food intolerance is very different to food allergies, allergies have been ruled out due to NON severity of symptoms like he's not vomiting etc

I'm not sure who is advising you in allergies but this is pretty old fashioned thinking.

Now it's all considered to be allergies, ige with immediate symptoms and non-ige with delayed symptoms.

Allergy U.K. have a good article on it here.

I've got non-ige CMPA and if he's got that, which it sounds as if he might, he really will have difficulty controlling his bowels and might often have an urgent need to go.

But if he's pooing at night then surely you're changing him anyway?

It sounds like this is a medical issue not a behavioural one, to be fair. From the sounds of it he's on the edge of diarrhea most of the time and at bedtime when there's nothing else to take his mind off it, he's very aware of the feeling that he might need to go soon and it's making it hard for him to sleep.

I'd be keeping him entirely dairy free for a couple of months to see if that helps.