Did anyone else find it hard to decide whether to have more children?

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My son is now 2 (born Sept 2020) and my husband and I have always wanted two kids.

We still want 2 kids, and we're keen to have another as soon as we can....

But, we're also taking over a small company and obviously had our son in lockdown, we're feeling pretty exhausted haha. We adore our son and would love to have another child... and in my head we will have another one soon, but then in practice when it comes to thinking about ttc I get really anxious

Worries about housing, and work, and time, and money, being even more tired etc etc. And I feel so conflicting.

In June we accidentally fell pregnant and it was like a miracle. We got to have the second child without the comittment of ttc. But unfortunately I lost the pregnancy early on. (This happened before my son too) We were both shocked that we were pregnant (I was on the pill and had taken it properly) but then got excited and then we were both really sad when we lost it.

So obviously we do want another one! But then why am I finding committing to ttc so hard?

Is it normal to just feel quite anxious about various aspects of trying again?

Did anyone else feel like this?

Following as this is how I feel. Would like baby 2, much too scared to commit in practice lol

Also following... Literally feel like I could of written your post!

Had my son in Jan 2021, not quite ready for 2nd baby just yet as I would like DS to be a bit older but definitely starting to think about the practicalities of having 2 children, and honestly it terrifies me. Also had 2 miscarriages before DS so the ttc aspect also really worries me. Add to that DH and I have just gone self employed and cost of living is definitely a worry too. But then, I also feel a bit sad to think we might not have a 2nd child as it's something we've both always wanted. So confusing!! 😅🤦🏼‍♀️

Exactly the same position here. DD is 16 months and I'm so broody and if I accidentally got pregnant would be over the moon. But also I'm just getting back into the swing of things at work and starting to see where I might progress to....but balancing how long that might take vs when to take another mat leave vs how long it might take to conceive (we were extremely lucky and

Argh second time this has happened to me today!!! Accidentally hit post.

Anyway, obviously can't guarantee we will conceive first time again so not sure when to start. Then there's nursery fees and age gaps. Cheaper to wait until DD has her free hours, but 3 years is the top end of the gap I'd like

Sorry not really an answer but it's a total minefield and I feel the same!

We always said we wanted 2, then had DD and went from ups and downs of wanting another to not sure as it was so much harder than we had anticipated. When she was 10 months we fell pregnant so the decision was made for us really.
Our baby is due end of January and DD will be 18 months.
I am slightly terrified of how hard it is going to be with 2 under 2 but also can't wait for DD to have a sibling close in age. She's such a sweet child and always trying to share everything she has with anyone so I'm sure she'll be a great big sister.
Sadly it also meant that I never returned back to work as there is no way we could afford 2 in childcare and we had never planned to have them so close in age. But it's great because I get to spend so much time with DD and I love it, even on the hard days.

Definitely normal to feel anxious about it all though and sorry about your loss.

This sounds like my situation exactly. I wasn't expecting the decision to try for another one to be so tough? In the back of my head I'm prepping for another baby, but then when I have to actually commit it get really panicky. I've no idea what's going on, but this doesn't feel like a nice way to go into ttc!

It really is a minefield isn't it? The free childcare is definitely worth waiting for I think...But yeah I have no idea what to do. I want another child, but I just can't get my head around the practicalities of it 🤦‍♀️

Its so tough! Every now and then I get a pang for another but like you, feel like we are just starting to get into the swing of things as DD gets older and I dont know if I am ready to go back into the battlefields! I also worry about what if the second child was really difficult, or had additional needs.

I also worry about not only money but the logistics of two children and would I end up exhausted and ratty and feel like a shit mum always playing catch up? For example, how would I get a baby to nursery, a child to school and then on to work? We dont drive and live in a city reliant on public transport.

I have friends who are pregnant again with number 2 and just remembering how hard pregnancy is both physically and mentally....

Ok I have just talked myself back into a 'No' again hahaha

We had a whoops baby #2. Literally DTD once on our anniversary. This is after taking over a year TTC DC1.

I’m not sure I would have managed TTC on purpose again, it sent me a bit loopy so I’m glad it happened unplanned

I always wanted 2 and am very happy now he’s here but if it had been a conscious choice to TTC then we probably would have waited longer out of fear (but it’s been fine)

Ah this is exactly how I feel! When I was accidentally pregnant in June I was fine with it after the initial shock. I was excited and planning a future with 2 kids. But then I lost the pregnancy and it can crashing down.

But now, actively ttc is killing me. I'm still on my pill. Husband and I agreed I would stop taking it today, and I am full of dread 🙄🤦‍♀️ send help!!!

What if you didn’t actively try but just stopped preventing? I mean not tracking dates, just DTD when you feel like it and see what happens?

Maybe that wouldn’t feel like “deciding” in the same way?

Same. I have an 18m old, had an unplanned miscarriage in July. I was pretty shocked, we had planned for two, but I wasn’t over the moon when I found out about the pregnancy (I have a history of miscarriages though so I can never really get excited at the beginning). I’ve just started a new job (same company so mat leave is fine), so I’m not sure if it’s the best time to try, but it could take years or it could take months! 44 is the cut off for me, so I’ve only got 4yrs to try for number 2. I think we’d be happy if it was just one, but not sure if we’d regret not at least trying for two.

So sorry for your loss OP! I am in the same boat. Daughter is almost 2, and I feel like we're getting to a really comfortable place with routine, i dont really understand how both parents work full time with two kids as i feel like we're just balancing work/life as it is. I worry that when you have two the parents are always tag teaming which just seems like you're never all together if that makes sense? I was scared of the physical part of pregnancy/birth before and I am now. I want our romantic relationship to thrive as well as our family relationship and I'm just worried it's going to be so much harder. At the same time, being a mom has given me unreal joy, contentment and fulfillment, the love is like no other feeling in the world. I worry about our daughter being spoiled and lonely, and worry she'll feel overburdened as we age.

Sorry that was kind of stream of consciousness, I change my mind about a hundred times a day!