Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

DD wants to invite her reception friends for sleepovers

24 replies

jewishmum · 31/10/2022 21:06

How do you go about having this happen?

She's not been at school long and I don't know any of the parents.

She's been asking her new friends who excitedly agree, but it's a bit awkward as us mums don't communicate on the pick up and drop offs.

I'd be happy to have one of her friends over personally.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IDontDrinkTea · 31/10/2022 21:09

I’d be surprised if any of the parents agree at this age? Especially if you don’t know the parents

LoveBluey · 31/10/2022 21:10

If you don't know the parents well I'd definitely start with a play date invitation before a sleepover.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 31/10/2022 21:10

Far far too young!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting Primary education

40andfit · 31/10/2022 21:10

Way too young. Have you even invited child and parent over for a play date?

AdriannaP · 31/10/2022 21:11

Maybe start with a playdate!

LoveBluey · 31/10/2022 21:11

My 5 year old has had sleepovers at a couple of friends houses but we've known them since the kids were babies and spent lots of time in each others houses. I wouldn't let her go to a brand new friends house for the first time for a sleepover. I'd want to get to know the parents and see the house first and I'd want to be confident she's be comfortable and safe.

GyozaGuiting · 31/10/2022 21:12

My reception age son went for a sleepover at his mates house, we know the parents really well though and they had play dates before too. Have them over for tea, and go from there.

ChilliBandit · 31/10/2022 21:13

Could you maybe do a Saturday afternoon type thing where a couple of friends watch a film and eat pizza and popcorn and have sleeping bags in the lounge etc whilst parents chat in the kitchen but then they go home?

Teeshirt · 31/10/2022 21:13

No way. Too young.

sarahc336 · 31/10/2022 21:14

I doubt any parents would let this happen at this young age op, I'd say wait a few years until you know the mums properly and they'd trust you to let their child go and stay over x

FlounderingFruitcake · 31/10/2022 21:14

Too young, tell her no. Start with a playdate.

slightlybonkersmum · 31/10/2022 21:15

My 4 year old son just started reception. There is no way I would let him have a sleepover unless I knew the parents very well. Sadly in this world you have to be wary in all situations. Even then you never know.

ncafhy · 31/10/2022 21:17

My child wouldn't be going to sleep overs at this age.

Montague22 · 31/10/2022 21:17

I would wait till they are 7 or 8, unless family friends. They all like the idea, but most would find the reality too much.
I’d start with meeting at soft play with a parent present. Or invite to your house with a parent.
Then once they know you the child may come alone. They’ll probably only want his stay for 2-3 hours. You could make it a bit sleepoverish if you build a den with blankets, or a pillow fort in the sofa, or a small indoor tent, or make and colour one of those cardboard houses.

Comedycook · 31/10/2022 21:17

I'd never let my DC go for a sleepover at that age if I didn't know the family very well.

Start with inviting them round for tea after school.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 31/10/2022 21:18

My DD said this back in reception but we always said no, she wasn't ready for it. She was not consistently dry at night still and other kids would have been the same, she needed me or her dad to sit with her to go to sleep and her friends would have been spayed same.

It's an idea that they like but they don't see the reality of it, a friend staying over or staying at a friends is different to staying with family.

Original poster

jewishmum · 31/10/2022 21:19

Very good advice everyone thanks.

My trouble is I have Asperger's and hate talking to adults. But I suppose I really need to make myself uncomfortable in the short term for the sake of Dd's social life.

A playdate sounds ok, I guess we could start meeting up at a soft play for an hour or so then progress on to asking to come round for tea.

I wish I had a rulebook of social common sense!

OP posts:

IntrovertedPenguin · 31/10/2022 21:19

Way to young.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 31/10/2022 21:25

jewishmum · 31/10/2022 21:19

Very good advice everyone thanks.

My trouble is I have Asperger's and hate talking to adults. But I suppose I really need to make myself uncomfortable in the short term for the sake of Dd's social life.

A playdate sounds ok, I guess we could start meeting up at a soft play for an hour or so then progress on to asking to come round for tea.

I wish I had a rulebook of social common sense!

I don't like small talk either so from when DD was about 5 I'd arrange to pick up a friend on the way to the park and I'd just take the 2 of them to the park round the corner for an hour or so. Now she's 8 I pick up a friend and take them to soft play or trampoline. More expensive but DD gets to play with her friend, I sit with coffee and cake (and earphones), it has a finite end point and then I drop the friend home. The friends parent is happy that they got a couple of hours child free, we're all happy.

Changechangychange · 31/10/2022 21:32

DS is always inviting people over for sleepovers too (without consulting me), it is a thing at that age. In my experience there is usually one child in the class who has a friend to sleep over (probably because the parents know each other independently), and then they boast to all the others, who then all want sleepovers too. It is seen as a big grown up thing to do, like having the best birthday party.

With DS, I made sure the parents knew the request wasn’t coming from me so they knew I wasn’t some mental overstepping parent, reminded DS that he didn’t even want to sleep over with DGM without me so why would his friend want to sleep over at ours, and organised lots of daytime play dates instead.

I also hate socialising with people I don’t know well already, but had to make an effort for DS. Park play dates are the low-key “easy to escape if the other parent turns out to be awful” option where I live. Soft play might be the option for you.

Big all-class birthday party in reception (we just did soft play then buffet, nothing amazing), which established me as “friendly” in the eyes of multiple parents without me needing to do much beyond be a good hostess for two hours, and got DS a lot of kudos with his friends. Then yes you do need to move on to individual play dates. I am personally counting down the days when the kids are old enough for parents to drop and go.

Goldbar · 31/10/2022 21:43

Playdates not sleepovers at this age, I would have thought.

My reception-age DC is also very keen to have friends for a sleepover. Funnily enough, they're a lot less keen on the idea of sleeping at their friends' houses without mummy/daddy there. I'm assuming most of their friends are similar at 4/5... Nice idea in theory but when bedtime comes, it's just a bit too much being in a strange house without a familiar adult.

StrataZon · 31/10/2022 21:45

Nice idea in theory but when bedtime comes, it's just a bit too much being in a strange house without a familiar adult.

This^
They're too young and you will end up taking them home at 11pm.

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 31/10/2022 21:47

No sleepovers until secondary school here...
Or it's child care...
Secondary school =throw pizza and sweets.
Close door.

whattodo2019 · 01/11/2022 19:03

You could have a PJ party after school one Friday with games and a short film and midnight (5.30pm) feast! They could all go home at 6pm in the pitch dark.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread