Can't cope much longer

[Chelkar93]

Hello. I hope I'm not judged by this post. But I am hoping maybe someone has been through how I am feeling at the minute. My life us terrible. I can't cope anymore. I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old. I'm a stay at home mum and it is killing me inside day by day. My baby needs held constantly, I can't even eat or shower during the time my partner is at work. And even when he comes home he expects me to still caring for them because he has had a day working hard while I was just in the house. To add to this my mother passed away 2 months ago. I have been prescribed anti depressants by the doctor after my health visitor flagged me to her, but I haven't taken them as I am scared of the side effects and having to rely on tablets. I am in such a hole and cannot imagine life getting any better. I wake up every day dreading the day ahead. I feel I am being so selfish and ungrateful as I have two healthy children when there is people out there desperate for children yet can't have them.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Sorry you are feeling this way. Your partner should be pulling his weight..
Aren't you thinking of going back to work in a few months time? This way you could change
environment and have a peaceful coffee break at least and child free time..

First you need to stop being hard on yourself.

you’re a new mum and grieving, it’s ok that you’re finding it hard ❤️

second you need to get your partner to step up and parent his children.

You aren’t supposed to carry them alone.

if he thinks you don’t do anything then I suggest you got out on his day off and leave them with him for a good few hours. Hopefully when you come back he will have an appreciation of what you do to support him being able to work.

third, see the dr again and discuss your concerns. Sometimes anti depressants can really help lift the dark a little. It’s not failure to try and help yourself

It's awful. I have a 9 month old and 4 year old. The demands are crazy. 4 months is peak post natal depression. My mother also died when my first was 2 months old. There's no time to grieve and life is a constant battle. Please message my if you'd like to chat. I know what you're going through you're not alone.

You need to find a way to sooty your 4 month old, neither of mine liked being put down, with dd1 I used a front carrier a lot and got on with my chores, with dd2 we bought a swing and it worked, she was happy being rocked. There's ways

Take the tablets. If you were diabetic or broke your leg you would take the medication.

Your DH needs step up. Can you talk to him? Do you have the extra money to buy in help eg a cleaner.

What time does DH leave for work? Can you shower before he leaves for work. This is what I used to do. DD2 lived in a sling at this age.

Wow this sounds like hell.
My son, now 2 was a nightmare sleeper and liked to be constantly held.
I am due my second any day now and have drafted in outside help this time so that I'll cope.
My son will stay in nursery 3 days per week and on the two days I'll be at home with the two of them I've got a mothers help coming in so I can either take my toddler out or he goes out with the nanny. She will also do light housework like laundry, tidying and cook us a family meal once a week like a big bolognaise that we can have for a couple of nights.

Are you able to get some help with kids/housework for the next couple of months to get you through the toughest months?
Is your 4yo able to go to nursery?

Please take the tablets

Please please take the tablets.

They will help. You can manage a reversal off then when you need to. They have saved many lives, and you need this help now.

Oh, and your DH needs to understand how you're feeling and help more. Whatever it takes to achieve that is okay.