What did you do while on MAT leave?

[EmmaL9763]

Im currently on my 9th week of MAT leave and I need ideas to get me out the house!

I live in Wiltshire- does anyone local know of places we could visit?

I have a beautiful baby girl and I love spending every day with her. We seem to do the same things every week and I need idea to make our weeks more exciting

We already attend baby sensory classes, go to coffee shops and meet family.

Unfortunately I don't know any other mums and I am spending a lot of my time alone.

Did anyone go to baby groups? My dc1 is 10 weeks old, I thought she may be a bit too young to take along but I'd love to know when you started going. Baby groups aren't really my thing but I'll do anything if it will benefit my little girl❤️

I did my first mat leave during lockdown so didn't get to do much, and with my second it was actually a real relief to not have to go out and about much! We tended to just bumble around, we didn't go to groups or anything, but we did do a bathroom remodel that I did so was pretty busy!

I took my most recent little one to the library for their free Rhythm and Rhyme sessions from about 7 weeks old! I lay her on the floor, took a couple of rattles, and did eye tracking, singing to her, and clapping and knee bouncing while the older toddlers/preschoolers sang along in the more usual way. That was in NI. Was very pleased to see my local library in England has the same sessions running, yours might have this too!

I also enjoyed the peace and quiet of taking her in her pram to cafes where I could read.

My first DC was born just before lockdown and we got about 3 weeks of baby yoga, Music Bugs (Baby Bugs group) and baby massage before it all closed down for Covid, never to return until he was far too old to do any of it. I would have very much liked to take him to baby swimming (aqua tots or similar) but we never got a chance.

I started taking DD to baby groups at 8 weeks old, honestly she slept through it a lot of the time so didn't gain much from it but it was good for me to be around other mums too. Do you have any local mother and baby groups? Or join a couple of local Facebook mum groups and reach out, I was part of one and we used to just meet for a coffee in a local cafe once a week.

I found mat leave really lonely at first, then I started making the effort to go out every morning. Such a faff sometimes but always worth it. I did start with those paid groups like sensory, massage etc but found it really stressful if naps ran over and I couldn't make it, it was a shame to keep losing out on money.

Have a look around for more informal baby things like rhythm and rhyme at the library, stay and play sessions in your local community centres or church halls, do you have a toy library near you? They often do stay and play sessions too (and a toy library is the best thing ever!). I also found that the mums at the free, volunteer-run things were much friendlier than those at the paid groups where people would show up and then leave as soon as the class was over 🤷‍♀️ the volunteer-run groups were much more informal.

Enjoy your newborn time and don't put yourself under too much pressure 😊 sometimes a nice walk is good enough too x

Aside from what you've already mentioned I joined the app Peanut to try and meet some other local mum's and met two really nice people on it! It's a bit like tinder for mum's 😂

Definitely the most usueful thing long term as well as something that takes time and where you might meet people is baby swimming.

It's great to get them comfortable with it early on, sets them up for life really.

How do you know baby groups aren’t your thing it you’ve not been to one? 😵‍💫

I found baby groups quite cliquey as whole NCT groups seem to attend together so it feels like everyone already knows each other.

I’ve just stopped baby sensory after half a teen because it’s all just stuff I could do at home… baby 3 so maybe I’m over it! Library Rhymetime is good I agree, I was surprised how many small babies were there as thought mine would be a bit young (6 months) but nope you’ll be amongst others!

Other than that we spend our days: going on walks. Cafe with friend, errands, house stuff, I’ve done a fair bit of decorating the last 6 months, hobbies during nap time - for me painting and crochet -, workouts etc.

Baby groups are for the mums not the babies in the first months, babies don’t care what they do all day.

At that sort of age its more stuff for you than her.

The baby showings at cinema are quite good, usually the latest films not kids stuff because the baby isn't watching, but with the lights on low and the volume turned down.

I found large undercover shopping centres like medowhall a godsend during winter. Go an hour before it opens and you can have a good walk without getting cold or wet then can do coffee or browse shops.

Once they're a sitting well and showing interest in their surroundings soft plays with a baby area are good and usually free.

Have a look at local church playgroups. The one I used to go to was my favourite part of the week- adults to chat to, toys for the babies, decent coffee and biscuits and very laid back. An easy was to spend 2 hours.

Agree at until they are moving, baby / toddler groups are more for the mums.

you will get loads of people who were happy to just potter at home or meeting family members, but I found I needed a plan for each morning or I struggled.

most churches round here have baby groups, worth looking on their websites and making up a list for yourself of what’s on each day, timings etc. libraries often having music /story groups, our midwives had a weekly baby weighing clinic then stay for a chat thing that would give me a purpose for a walk out.

I see you are already doing baby sensory, both my two enjoyed that. We also did a sing and sign class - swimming is also a good shout.

whilst she is a potato, I’m just doing all of the stuff I want to do. Box sets, exercising with her on a mat next to me, cooking nice meals that take a lot of prep, coffee shops and reading a book with her snoozing next to me, working on my masters dissertation

I’ll go to groups when she can crawl and is interested in other babies. Not really interested in having a mum gang so just very happy to potter and do what I fancy

I hiked the Ridgeway during my maternity leave, ds in a sling. It was lovely but Ds was a summer baby.
Caen Locks
Avebury
Stonehenge
Salisbury/Old Sarum
Savernake Forest

Mum& baby groups weren't really my thing. 🙂

Baby groups aren’t for babies.

They’re for parents like you who need peers!

I learned how to speak Portuguese and wrote my first book!

obviously I didn't (although I genuinely thought I could write a book!). I remember I'd at least go for a walk everyday, I did our weekly shop over the course of a few days as I had to walk and it got me out of the house. Went to baby groups when they were a bit bigger. Did baby massage. Went back to work at 8 months.

I'm in Bath and there's lots of tiny babies at the church baby groups I go to and they all have baby sections with plays mats and bouncers, they're a great way to meet other mums

I don't think I did much with DD at that age but I did do baby massage and swimming when she was a little bit bigger. Then I made friends at the church groups and we used to just walk around the shops, go to cafes and go to each others houses. Sounds boring but it was great to get out the house and talk to another mum!

Hope nature is a good one to go to has a nice cafe.

I did and still go to on my day off a baby and toddler group with my son. Not sure what I will do with my next baby as some of the groups are only up to 12 months.

plan on getting longleat pass for next year so my 1.5yr old will enjoy and future newborn can go together.

Baby groups are for you not them at this age - it's where you meet the other mums you can hang out with.

Childrens centres/family hubs often have Baby group specifically for none movers

Libraries do bounce and rhyme for babies and toddlers

Baby sensory

Baby massage

I'm an unsociable type and so watched a lot of telly and did a lot of walks!! I did more groups when they got older and I needed to wear them out!

I posted on our local FB page for other mums to see if anyone wanted a coffee and catchup. Out of that came a separate mums and babies FB group which forged lots of meet ups. Loads of 'anyone free on Tuesday morning who would like to meet for a cuppa' kind of thing. If you're struggling to find groups and other mums then there's a good chance others are too.

My baby is 12 weeks and we went to baby groups from around 7 weeks. We have been to stay & play, 'boob club' (breastfeeding group), baby massage and a music group. I take my baby swimming once a week as its local and cheap! I've also done a pram active group too and a mums walking group! I don't have many friends nearby but I have managed to connect with a couple of mums locally and we now meet up for lunch and walks. Alot of the groups I found on the local community Facebook page and my area have a WhatsApp group for parents of babies.

I'm in north wiltshire-
My baby is 6 months old now and I did local baby massage when he was about 12 weeks old and from about 16 weeks I go to 2 baby classes a week which i feel is enough- one is general relaxed cup of tea and chit chat and the other is a structured one (moo music) where you don't really have to speak to anyone. sometimes I use the local childrens centre as they always have lots going on. I'm a member of national trust so often pop to lacock and court gardens to get out and about locally. On the other days I just try and chill at home. There's a couple of apps called hoop, mush and peanut that help you connect locally with other parents. I'm very introverted so find it difficult to always be chatty with others but I do think it helps sometimes to get out and I have made a couple of good friends from doing it. In Wiltshire I think the childrens centres run a free baby and me class which is a 5 week group with different topics each week but from what I've heard is a good way to meet others

Also If you live near chippenham there's a lovely heated pool where they do baby swimming sessions

I found it so boring I went back to work earlier than planned 😬 sorry - might get some flack for that but it's true. Things I did to occupy myself the time I was off:

• variety of baby classes
• drop in centre sessions (churches and community centres often run them)
• rhyme time thing at local library
• proactively made friends through these groups so I had other people to hang around with
• local cinema did parent and baby film showings late morning which were great (take baby along, lights kept on slightly, volume lower, cheap tickets)
• swimming from about 3 months ish
• LOTS of walking!
• visited local national trust places
• went to stay overnight with friends/relatives from time to time

You really do need to meet other people one way or another otherwise you will be very lonely. As others said - baby groups aren't for babies for most of the first year so go to them with the aim of socialising rather than worrying about what's best for your daughter! Honestly, just do what makes you happy and you will be in a better place to take best care of her.

First born was during lockdown, no classes ran for first 3 months. I then signed up and tried so many things, and to be honest the best things we have done were play and stay sessions at local churches, local playgroups and play cafes (better when they are a bit older), which are about £2 and no sign up to anything. People were more friendly there and mums more open to chats.
The classes I made zero mum friends and felt quite lonely. People just got up and left straight away or went with people they knew. I found most of them a complete waste od money.
Only classes we did when my child reached one were messy play and music, both of which she lost interest in after 8 weeks.
Going for walks, coffee and stay and play sessions were / are my routine.