How much do you expect your partner to do

[annoyed95]

We have a eight month old LO. I feel like all my partner cares about is work. Since he was about 2 weeks old, he has been consumed with work. Shit has hit the fan at work and it is taking months to sort out- month after month I kept being told it will be sorted soon. But I feel he should be making more time.

He has no hours- will leave anytime between 10-12pm. Says he is doing so to help me in the am but really he lies in or is on the phone. Can get back at various times, and if back early will still be on the phone. We hardly go out or do anything fun.

He makes milk for baby. I do most of the feeds, most of the nights, make baby's food. I don't get much time to myself at all. He wants to sleep train but doesn't want to get out of bed at a reasonable hour and in all honesty I am shattered. I don't eat properly. He couldn't even take time off work when I was really unwell.

I'm finding myself getting more and more pissed off and not tolerating it so all we do is argue. AIBU? What do your partners do?

Anyone?

Exh did very little due to 60.+ hour working weeks. He would walk around with them mid evening when they never settled.

In our house it's pretty much 50/50, although he does more childcare and I do more house chores (preference). We also both work full time and the little one attends nursery.

When DH is at home, I expect 50/50. Likewise, if he goes out with some friends, then I don't mind but also expect him not to mind should I do the same.

To be honest, the main thing is that I feel able to ask for help and he knows if I ask, then I need it and vice versa. Equally, don't be a martyr and seethe, just ask for help and give him the opportunity to do so, as he might not realise.

My husband did very little around the house when ours were that age. He worked FT, I was a SAHM and breastfed til 13 months. While youre on mat leave I personally think its ok if the majority falls to you.

BUT, if my husband had expected me to go back to work then he would deffo have had to step up at home.

He works part time and looks after our kids two days a week. When I'm not at work we split everything 50/50. The only thing not even is nightwakes, because I'm breastfeeding.

My husband was brilliant when all our children were little he was a real hands on dad, despite working 60 plus hours week, don’t understand these husbands partners that don’t do much to help at all

My LO is similar age to you. When DH is home we are both basically run ragged doing either baby things/ housework/ dogs. I prefer to let him do baby things (bath, bed etc) so I can have a 'break' Break being walk dogs, make tea or other house jobs. I expect my DH to equal when home but if he was working long hours out the house there's only so much he could do. We've recently talked about trying to get more time ie dog walker, cleaner, online food shop, easier meals etc to relieve some pressure. DH supports me when needed will get up early with baby if I've had a rough night (still EBF) but he does sleep in spare room to get full night sleep for work so can suffer a slightly earlier sleep occasionally

My husband works longish hours and is almost always gone before 13 month old wakes between 6.30-7am. If not he will take DS to kitchen while he makes coffee and I get up/bathroom etc.

He sometimes arrives home at bath time and will do bath within minutes of getting home.

He will then get DS into pjs and play until bedtime. I bf to sleep so I always do every bedtime and night wake.

Other times he is home after DS is in bed, it’s probably half of the time that he is home in time to do the bath.

On weekends we take in turns for a lie in until 8.30/9am, he has Saturday as he likes to stay up late on Friday and I get Sunday. He does the majority of the childcare on the weekends as it’s their main time together really, but in general we work as a team with childcare/housework/meal prep. If there is an afternoon football match DH will watch it while DS plays in the same room and I’ll have that time to have a bath or something.

The same.

Ex would watch ds for ten minutes each evening while I had a shower. We left when ds was 2y2m.