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5 year old keeps losing it

4 replies

Fedupofbeingamum · 30/10/2022 13:09

I have a 5 year old daughter. She's never been easy but recently I just don't know what to do with her. She can be a delight and then something happens and it's like a switch flips. She becomes aggressive, screaming, rude and won't come down.

Example is today. I was helping her get her pyjama top off and accidentally caught her hair in so doing. I said I was sorry and she tried to punch me. When her dad and I tried to tell her this was wrong she sat there and pulled rude faces and made noises. Again we said this was unacceptable and we don't behave this way. She did not stop so we said unfortunately we can't go out to do what we had planned this afternoon (Halloween party) and she threw herself down in a screaming tantrum. We have explained she needs to calm down and accept her choices were not good ones, we can apologise and make up and go out. This was met with her bellowing "FINE!!!" running off to her room and she's now sitting there loudly saying "I HATE being a child, I HATE my family, I will NEVER stop being this, my family are STINKY" and so on.

This is so regular. We can't ask her for anything without getting rude faces and "uuuhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh" noises made at us, screaming "FINE!" and storming off happens frequently and she just speaks so aggressively.

We've tried the whole connection before correction thing, she gets more than enough attention, she can be fantastic good company but we must be getting something wildly wrong. She's really good for my mum when she has her and I haven't heard anything from school so I guess we are just failing as parents.

We've tried to ask her why she is doing this and how she feels when she starts pulling the faces and she just says she doesn't know and doesn't like this conversation.

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Smurf123 · 30/10/2022 13:16

I'd say 5 year olds are just hard work and your not failing as parents. Your putting boundaries in place and sticking to them?
Does she get much screen time? I ask this only as I have a 4 year old who has been doing similar shouting/crying when asked to do stuff he doesn't push or hit though but it is a lot worse right now because he's been sick this week and as a result has a couple days of unlimited screens. He transforms back to my loveable friendly dude after the screens go away. (After the initial "noooo the tv didn't make me grummppyyy!")

Smurf123 · 30/10/2022 13:19

Check out big little feelings on Instagram they have some good tips ..
At 5 she may not understand that you aren't going out later on today because she was pulling faces this morning .. depends on the kid of course.

Fedupofbeingamum · 30/10/2022 13:33

Smurf123 · 30/10/2022 13:19

Check out big little feelings on Instagram they have some good tips ..
At 5 she may not understand that you aren't going out later on today because she was pulling faces this morning .. depends on the kid of course.

Thanks

I also should have made it clear that the going out this afternoon was linked to the pulling faces. I was taking her pyjama top off to get her costume on. I’d kept her in the pyjamas so she didn’t mess up her costume and it was one less change of clothes to deal with!

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40andfit · 30/10/2022 13:36

You say ‘we’. Where you both telling her off? I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to be a 5 year old being told off by 2 adults. It feels to me like this would be overwhelming.

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