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Parenting

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Daughter rejecting her Daddy

6 replies

Wjb13 · 29/10/2022 23:18

My daughter is 2.5years old, we have a 1 year old son. Before my son was born my daughter and her Daddy (my husband) had a wonderful relationship, when our son came along he was, still is clingy to me, she didn't get jealous in the beginning but it came about 10 months later, we've tried to manage it with my spending more 1 on 1 time with her and him taking the baby more.
Things seemed to get better but recently she's started saying she doesn't like Daddy and won't let him put her to bed or silly things like get her a drink, it has to be me. I can see this is hurting my husband, and tbh it's started causing issues in our marriage. For example this evening we went out to fireworks and it was a late one, half 9, well past her bedtime but we had done a late nap to help her. In the car on the way home she was just trying and screaming for me, her dad tried to pass her Teddy and she just screams no, Mummy do it. I put her to bed and came downstairs and he's grumpy and sullen, I try to support him but I get my head ripped off. He's not normally one to be moody, and I know it's because her behaviour hurts him but I have tried talking to her, we've done all bedtimes for her are done by me. I just don't know what else to do, he's a brilliant Dad and she's always adored him and I just can't understand where this has come from. Any advice on helping her through this phase so they can have their bond back and my husband can stop being hurt by it.

OP posts:
Pinpot · 29/10/2022 23:21

Just a phase, totally normal. My DD went through this stage. They feel a bit unsettled and they act out. Your DH needs to shake it off and not take it personally. It's really not personal.

diffandproud · 29/10/2022 23:23

Total normal phase for child so become attached to one parent at this age..she will go through a phase where it's only him she wants too...it's normal

butterflyflutterby123 · 29/10/2022 23:27

Oh my goodness so normal. Also normal of she DOESN'T have a rebound phase of only him. All babies suddenly pick one person to behave(ish) with and be difficult as --++++++++ with the other

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drkpl · 29/10/2022 23:37

This is normal. However, I would be setting firm boundaries. No, daddy is getting your drink, either you can have a drink from daddy or you won’t have a drink, etc. and stick with it. It sounds harsh, but she knows she has a level of control over you both by demanding who does what/gives what. It’s a form of boundary pushing. You need to support him with it and not give in to her. Deep down, she still loves her dad- she just wants more of you right now and that’s ok. Your time has probably been a bit more focused on the baby and she’s probably picked up on it (as is natural with mothers with small babies- they just take up more of your time!). You keep spend your quality time with her, as you have been doing. Try to alternate each night you both put her to bed. Be loving but firm. The worst thing you can do is to give in and allow the dad to be pushed out. This is a phase a lot of toddlers go through .

Derbee · 29/10/2022 23:39

Totally normal developmental phase.

Your husband needs to remember that he’s an adult, and grow up.

Bestcatmum · 29/10/2022 23:41

FGs sake. Your DH is a grown man she is 2.5. He needs to grow up.

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