Looking for a bit of advice. I'm a step mum to 2 kids (16 and 11). My hubs and his ex split about 8 years ago.
For as long as I've been in the picture (6 years) there has been an informal CM arrangement, hubs pays more than minumum with extra support for school clothes, trips etc etc whenever its needed. I normally pick up kids from school on Friday lunchtime and we take them home on Sunday evening. Whole situation has been stable and amicable.
Recently ex wife has been refusing to let kids come. Various excuses but not willing to discuss why. Both kids have incredibly poor attendance at school, basically live in their bedrooms at their mums, don't get involved in any social clubs or activities and eat takeaways 5 nights a week.
Whole situation is really deteriorating. Hubs is devastated not seeing kids (as am I). Kids very rude to grandparents, aunts and uncle and us, they have stated their dad doesn't support their mum financially with them and that their mum is the only one who loves them.
We haven't spoke to kids about CM because frankly it's not really anything for them to know about. But for them to believe their dad doesn't support them suggests it's been talked about by someone.
We have spoken to the school about concerns on attendance and achievement. School really non plused. However DSS can now leave school at any point and he is absolutely not capable of holding down a job or independently studying. He has social age of about 10.
Any tips? Desperately want to rescue relationship and help kids to achieve their potential.