Both kids won't eat

[hippydyegirl]

Am I terrible? Both my boys refuse dinner the last few days and are both kinda fussy

They both eat similar which is

Breakfast 2 weetabix each
Lunch beans and toast or a dairylea sandwich and a yogurt

Snacks are fruit so a banana, a few grapes or strawberries etc

Dinner is anything really we cook so shep pie lasagne etc but they keep refusing

They are ages 2 and 4

What do you do when they refuse? I'm big on the whole, you decide what's offered and when, they get to decide how much if any of it they eat. So don't stress it basically. You sit down and eat with them, make happy chit-chat talking about your day or whatever, don't mention them not eating or praise when they do.

2 weetabix and a decent lunch plus snacks. They possibly aren't actually hungry.

It's easy to say, but don't make a fuss. Keep on offering and get worked up about it. I highly recommend a book called how to get the little blighters to eat

2 and 4 are tricky ages, mine are 2 and 4 too and very picky also. They like pizza, especially if I buy the bases and let them help spread the sauce and put the toppings on even if it's just cheese.
Do they like things like mash, gravy and peas? I sometimes do picky bits on a plate like some cheese cut into slices, few crackers, some chopped strawberry and apple (the only fruit they eat) some cold meat if they eat it. Fish fingers aren't too healthy, we do fish fingers and waffles at least twice a week. Jacket potato with beans?

And don't get worked up

Is dinner too late for them? Some little ones are ready for tea at 4:30/5:00.

Have you tried having the hot food at lunch time and a small snack at tea time? Does this help?

Do you sit and eat with them? - I used to eat with my kids in the week as dad got home too late. Then we always tried to make sure we ate as a family at the weekends. So we all meet together.

Do you let them eat something else if they don't want the main food? - maybe stop that.

I was just about to ask what time is dinner?

Can you swap and have the hot meal at lunch? Then at least you know they’ve had that, and less worry if they just have sandwich or picky bits for evening.

Watching with interest, my four year old drives me crazy!

I don't sit with them no, we parents eat once they're in bed.

Haven't tried a hot lunch but it wouldn't work as he has packed lunch at school so would need a proper hot meal in eve which he doesn't want

Basically I try to get them to eat as much dinner as piss, then eventually give them toast and honey before bed so they aren't starving

Why don’t you sit with them?

Cos we eat our dinner separately. We sit nearby to help them with dinner etc

Certainly at the weekends eat with them.

Why would they eat dinner if they aren't actually hungry when they know they will get supper later on anyway 🤷🏽‍♀️

I'd recommend giving foods they like with the odd extra thing they are less keen on for them to 'try' but no pressure just let them eat as much as they want. Leaving the plates out for a bit after they finish may encourage them to return later. (Some kids are grazers) but eating with them and leading by example is actually really positive for kids and promotes good eating habits. It's also a great opportunity for chatting and promoting manners.

Stop giving them toast and honey then! I would cut that out completely and then experiment with the times. Also, physically sit at the table with them even if you aren't eating anything. You can still chat with them and make dinner times a pleasant experience even if you aren't eating yourself.

Start eating with them. (You and your partner can eat together in the future). Why would they eat if you won't?

And no toast and honey. (Tiny portion of tea to start with. If its not eaten thats ok - not tons wasted.....another tiny portion later......ditto. If eaten they get seconds.) I'm quite tough on wasting food. It's OK not to be hungry. Not OK to waste it.

It’s really sad that you don’t want to eat with your children.
I expect you not eating is making them think that they don’t have to.

Get them involved in making dinner too.

So they know they get toast and honey if they don't eat, cut that out straight away.

Re eating together, I don't eat with mine at that age because I didn't get in until 1945, someone always sat with them while they ate and we ate together at weekends.

Swap toast and honey for something very very boring but filling, like plain readybrek, porridge or weetabix.

I did this for literally years. Gave toast or cereal before bed regardless if they ate or not. Then we stopped. Ds5 realise this was it and ate. Obviously not quite that simple but didn't take long. I do still give something on his plate he likes if he doesn't like the main- so cottage pie and veg, but bread & butter too. He eats bread n butter first, then veg, then tries cottage pie and hit or miss if he eats it.
It's win win as I know he's eaten something and he's tried a food he's not keen on but no massive pressure and not too hungry.

Eat with them and stop offering a sweet treat at bedtime.

Thanks for replies

Even if you eat later by yourselves, I think it would still help to actually sit at the table with them whilst they eat.