How do I stop feeling like a Sherpa when I go out?

[Confusedandperplexed]

Any tips please!! I have a one year old and a four year old. Whenever we go out together I feel like I’m preparing to climb Everest, get really hot carrying my changing rucksack around, can never find anything I need in it and just get so stressed.
I’ve got a big travel type buggy that’s very solid and done loads of miles for me but is heavy and a lightweight buggy. I bought a while ago one of those portable changing mats with pockets for nappies etc so I feel I could just use that plus a smaller bag but I never seem to get it right! Also the day I don’t pack a change of clothes is the day I need them etc. Help!

Following, I’d love to know too!!

I remember those days. We'd regularly have days out at places where there would be a splash area so the DC would need swim stuff or spare clothes and a towel and, as it's the UK, you always need coats and then we'd take a picnic as it was so much easier and cheaper than buying food when out.

Embrace having the pushchair whilst you can. At least that is something to put things on & in. Once DC2 is out of the pushchair, you'll have a couple of years when you still need all of the gear but have to carry it all or you do what I did and keep taking the pushchair with you just as it made life so much easier

...you don't actually need that much stuff. Honestly, you don't. Pack of wipes, 2 or 3 nappies, a piece of fruit and bottle of water for each kid. Done.

how much are you actually taking with you? I’ve recently got a smaller rucksack and found I’ve cut down on some of the “just in case” type stuff.

I still have a slim change of outfit for both kids (leggings and a top for DD and just a sleepsuit for the baby), as many nappies for each of them that I think I’ll need plus one more each, wipes, one muslin, handful of snacks and water bottle for DD and reins tucked into the other water bottle pocket.

I have a 1 year old and I just take my handbag?! Ditched the big changing bag at about 6 months.

@MolliciousIntent yes you’re right. Half the problem is I pack endless snacks!! @SirMoose but what if your toddler does a poo?!?

I have 2 nappies and a pack of wipes in my handbag. That’s all you need!

A small flannel or thin small towel instead of mat
2-3 nappies
wipes
1 change of clothes for each
water
no snack if morning, 1 piece of fruit or small packet of biscuit if afternoon.

If you’ve got a pushchair, stop carrying everything and put it on the buggy. No need to be lugging stuff.

List what you are carrying.

are you very rural? there’s no need to carry the kitchen sink, especially if your trips out are in towns and cities and you have a little spare change on you to pick things up if you really need them

Ive 3 DC and I don’t carry snacks or water. I don’t carry spare clothes, I don’t carry a changing mat.

If out with DC and one in nappies I’d have a handbag with
phone
bank card
fiver
little tub wipes
nappy, or two if out for longer
keys
pen

if they were over about 3 they would have their own backpack for full days out
if under about 3 I’d have the baby carrier tucked in the bag for naps, but that fit in my handbag too
Sometimes I end up carrying someone’s coat
but that’s about it

you don't actually need that much stuff. Honestly, you don't. Pack of wipes, 2 or 3 nappies, a piece of fruit and bottle of water for each kid. Done.

This. I have three under five. Wipes, three nappies, piece of fruit/little ziploc of snacks, one water bottle. It doesn’t stop my older one collecting every leaf and stick in the park, but that’s her lookout.

Just take less?
I have a 2 year old and have never had a full changing bag, and used washable nappies. Just a small makeup bag with basics that fits in handbag, pram, rucksack or whatever I’m using that day.

For 2 year old now, that small bag usually has spare outfit, mainly leggings and pants Incase of toilet accident. A few dry reusable wipes. Plasters. Epipen kit. Granola bar. I also take out fresh water.

I used to have a foldable changing mat but it was a bit bulky, plus a combo of lockdowns and a child that prefers standing changes, means it was rarely used!

Now use one of those wet bags to carry a couple of nappies and a pack of wipes. They're quite slimline so slip into many bags well and anything offensive or soggy can be slipped in there until later and you can bung it in the wash. You can also get reusable snack bags which are essentially the same thing and stop crumbs or the snacks themselves slipping into the bottom of your bag. (See also: small tupperware boxes)

I really assessed the necessity of everything I was carrying but totally empathise with: the day you forget it, is the day you need it!

Maybe experiment with taking less and seeing what you actually use/miss. I found a little pocket version of Sudocrem comes in handy for scrapes at the park but I try to leave things like a bottle of calpol/syringe at home unless it's a longer trip. As with nappies and snacks, I carry miscellaneous bits and pieces (the Sudocrem, my lip balm, tissues etc.) in their own reusable bag or a clear zip lock (handy to be able to see contents), so I don't feel I'm rummaging for things. I know each set of items has it's own pouch and can put my hand on it quickly.

Also handy if with other people as you can ask them to grab things with ease, or for example, just take just the wet bag into the changing room with you, rather than all your belongings.

Do you need spare clothes? I cart them around for ages and then they grow out of them and I miss using them especially if they're nicer ones! I did carry spare pants and trousers when potty training, and full spare outfit for baby when they are in the squirty poo stage, but now he's over 1 there's not really any need for spare clothing unless it's a really long journey or something. Day to day, if he gets wet or mucky, I wipe him down with a baby wipe or wait for it to dry out. If it was cold I'd probably have a blanket anyway. I can count on one hand the amount of times over 3 kids they've got absolutely drenched/soiled etc and if it was that bad you can either just strip them down and put them in the car in their pants and a jumper or go to the nearest clothing store and buy new clothes.

The clothes are the bulkiest thing in the bag. Agree all you really need is wipes (I try to swap out a half-empty packet so it's slimmer and takes less space) and a couple of nappies, I keep this in its own little pouch so it's easy to find. Drink, maybe a snack, depending on length and time of trip. Phone, purse, keys. Jumper or hat, sun cream.

Oh yes, I also agree, you don't need the foldable changing mat unless you're squeamish about surfaces. If you have space to fold out the mat then you might as well just use whatever surface that is to change the baby.

A thin muslin is better as changing mat imo. We have a thin bamboo muslin that has been used a changing mat on grass, to wipe ice cream mess, as sun shade, summer blanket, wipe wet slide etc.. it folds tiny and when dirty just in machine to wash

After a year or two of carting everything around with me when I had a baby and a toddler, I got both dc a small backpack each. They'd then carry their own spare nappy, wipes, clothes, snack and a drink. I felt so excited when I got a new handbag for Christmas that year.

Get your toddler to put their spare clothes, snacks and small toys in a little rucksack that they then wear and are responsible for.

Make sure spare clothes are all light, e.g. pyjamas instead of tracksuit.

Empty all the pockets of your changing bag and leave everything out that you've not recently used. I regularly find random things in the pockets of ours taking up space that I'd forgotten about!

Packable jackets or puddlesuits are a game changer (for yourself too). Primark does a great adult puffer jacket that will keep you warm but you can fold stuff it in to its little carry bag and chuck it under the pushchair.

Cut down on stuff you carry. A large muslin can be used to line a changing table. Handful of wipes in a ziplock bag and a couple of nappies, bib if baby is going to be eating and a sippy cup. Small toy or book if necessary to entertain child.

In case of real emergency, if you're in town you can buy extra wipes / nappies / clothes / Calpol if needed. But I bet you won't need them. I never did with any of my kids.

I'm a 'just in case' packer OP! Also have a 4 and 1 year old. My rucksack changing bag has snacks, water, dummies, nappies and wipes in one of those folding changing mats, change of clothes for both kids, spare jumper for both, waterproofs, muslins, tissues, hand gel... But that stays in the car permanently. I'm never that far from the car that we can't go back in an emergency.

Buggy Pram Bag Organiser, 11L Large Capacity for Baby Accessories with 2 Deep Cup Holders & Shoulder Strap Used as Carry-On Handbag-Universal Fit All Buggy Models (Grey) [link]amzn.eu/d/308M2IP[/link]

This has absolutely changed my life! I have a pack of wipes, 2 nappies, a baby grow for emergency changes until I can get back to the car, hand gel, dummy, a zip lock of snacks, a bottle of water, my purse, phone and keys. No carrying, no sweating, honestly it is an absolute game changer!!!!

Thank you for all your suggestions everyone!

This^^.