Do you stop and help?

[SpinningFloppa]

Would you get involved if a child was having a tantrum in the street or other public place? I’m on a few parent groups and I’ve noticed recently people being upset that no one helped them when their child was having a tantrum. It never occurred to me to think people expected help in this situation from passers by and I have 4 children and have never expected anyone to stop and help. Would you?

Of course not. Unless, as pps have said there is something practical I can do like pick up a dropped shopping bag.
What I generally do is smiles and say something like "We've all been there", just to reassure the parent that it isn't them, and it is perfectly normal, and that you do come out the other side. That 9/10 people who are looking are just thinking they are glad it isn't them this time, or glad that their kids are past this stage, and aren't judging at all.

If it was on a plane (or similar) and baby was distressed for an extended period of time, I'd offer to help, walk them around, rock them, etc. but just a general everyday tantrum, absolutely not!

No. Because I personally wouldn’t find it helpful if it was me, I’d find it weird and distracting and somewhat patronising. As a pp said if I was trying to drag a toddler along to the car whilst juggling heavy bags, offering to carry a bag might be helpful - but in terms of a toddler tantruming what help do people expect? Do they expect others to talk to or discipline their child? They need to get a grip.

Nope. And I wouldn't want anyone to intervene with my child having a tantrum either. My child, my tantrum to deal with and theres plenty of them over the years. Those who complain that nobody stopped to help are the kind of parents who's kids will run rings round them when they're a bit older.

A stranger saved my bacon one day when looking after my godson who had the mother of all tantrums on the floor next to a busy A road than ran through his town.

I was clueless and starting to panic when a woman stopped, looked at him and announced loudly 'gosh you're making a lot of noise for a small boy aren't you?'

He stopped immediately, completely thrown by this attention and did not know what to do with himself after that!

It was exactly what he / I needed but I haven't been brave enough to pay it forward yet!!

I have offered to let a lady go ahead of me in toilet queue. She had a DD about 2 years old having a meltdown because she wanted to wee. She had baby in pushchair too. I offered her to leave baby outside and I would watch it whilst she took DD in to wee. She looked relieved.

Wow. New parents really have reached the epitome of entitled.

I thought it was bad enough when I heard that many new parents genuinely expect their friends and family to bring them food and do their cleaning when they have a baby.

I agree Im shocked people expect a stranger to help them manage their child, I really couldn’t imagine a situation where I would get involved in a child having a tantrum. As for the staring comment I honestly think it’s mostly in people’s heads and people aren’t actually “staring” they are looking sympathetically but when your kid is kicking off it’s hard to not feel like all eyes are on you.

Someone asked me once, I regret being a bit stroppy and saying a curt “no thank you”. She made me feel better though, took the embarrassment away. Just a quick “would like help? We’ve all been there”. She didn’t stop, said it in passing. I just felt so embarrassed at the time.

Definitely not, and I wouldn't appreciate someone getting involved if it was me.

As others have said, if there's a situation where perhaps a bags or so

*A bag or something had been dropped then I'd help pick up bits, etc.

Pressed post too early 🤦🏼‍♀️

As the mother of an ASD child, any help offered would be futile and probably escalate the situation so I'd rather not be offered. I always give a sympathetic smile to parents dealing with tantrums/meltdowns because it's tough and sometimes it's nice to know others notice but don't intervene or judge.