My dad lives abroad. We video-called just now and I showed him my dc(5) has been doing some sums. They both speak different languages and I was just trying to find something common for them to bond on.
My dad has basic education, however it was always said that he's v good at Maths. He was the local chess champion, etc.
From about ten sums my dc had done, dad quickly spotted the only one where my child has written a wrong number at first, then crossed it out and self-corrected. My dad said 'he's made a mistake' and laughed.
This made me angry (even though I kept calm during the call, obvs) as it just brought up so many memories of being ridiculed for my efforts when I was a child. (I told dad that it's not a mistake if it's corrected and dc didn't understand any of the conversation, anyway).
My child is not actually particularly good in Maths. Dc only does some when encouraged. I realise dc's only five but I'm just feeling sad for their lack of eagerness in most school-related things, or for lack or particular interests, not becoming bilingual even though we were intentional in teaching him; and I fully realise this feeling comes from the way I was parented.
I was the youngest in a large family and only worth of attention when I achieved and performed well academically (am the only one with a degree, two in fact, as a result.)
I'm trying to praise dc based on character rather than achievements, (which is also a struggle as he's still in a very egocentric phase, is socially awkward, easily scared, etc).
I am finding it very hard not to feel like a failing parent especially in the eyes of my own parents.
This is no doubt MY issue, rather than dc issue.
I was just wondering if others felt/ feel similar and if there's anything that can help change this mindset/ self guilt.
I love my child to pieces. I understand my job as a parent is to keep him safe and healthy, encourage him to become his own person and teach him right from wrong. Yet, I just feel guilt all the time and I cannot get rid of this fear that he will not grow up to be content, confident, skilled, smart or sociable.