2.8 year old will not sit on potty or toilet!

[Savanna1990]

My DD is 2.8. She is so ready for potty training. She just refuses point blank to sit on the toilet or potty. She will hold both wees and poos until she has a nappy on. I haven’t been brave enough yet to just ditch nappies and refuse them back. Shall I do this ? Or does anyone know a way please!

She’s two years 8 months

She's not ready.

Take the pressure off. Leave the potty out so she sees it. Play potties with her dolls, let her watch you going to the loo etc.

When she's ready she will sit and not withhold.

She’s not ready. Take the stress off yourself and her. Wait until the summer where she can go bare bum around the house

Playing potty with dolls worked for us when we had this problem. We also read books and tried to be as laid back as possible. It is really hard though. It seems so easy and obvious to us but it's a big change for them

By next summer she will be 3 and a half and that is very late. I think we have a duty to our kids to put the work in and not wait until they do it themselves. OP. I would just do as pp suggested. Lots of potty play and books, tell her when you need to go, let her see you on the loo. Mine loves a chocolate button when he's managed something on the potty.

Not very late at all.

My dd was 3.4 when she trained and she got it down in 3 days using that method. She had never had an accident.

Ds was trickier and nearly 4. He still has the odd accident when he’s been laughing too much and he’s now 7

Agree with everyone else that if she is refusing to sit on the toilet or potty she is not ready. Making it into a ‘thing’ is not a great idea.

Let her be. Wait until she’s 3. It’s not far away.
Also loads of the kids who start early have regressions so don’t worry that it’s later.

Why? Surely it’s beneficial to do what’s right for the child and not going to give them toilet problems? 3/4 is really small…

Could she be bribed with a sweet or choc? I’d go cold turkey with nappies and try a little bribe to get her on. Worked within days for us at a younger age and phased the sweets out very quickly once it clicked

Yeah I agree with PP's. She's not ready, just leave it for a while but continue to let her be curious about it by coming with you and reading books etc, playing it with dolls/teddies etc.
My DD was 3 years and 7 months before she was ready and then got it within 3 days with no accidents and was fine ever since. I'd tried multiple times earlier after lots of 'helpful' (bad) advice and it just caused so much stress for her and I think she would have probably got it earlier if I'd have just left it and taken the pressure off.

I agree that 3/4 is on the older side if NT and most children are capable of learning between 2 and 3 if the parents are committed and determined

She’s not ready. Give it a month and try again.

Shes not ready. I was considered late with both of mine (3 and half) but both got it by day 3 with zero accidents. Never took potty in car etc.

Keep repeating how grown up it is to go to the toilet, like daddy or older siblings or nanny etc. Praise like crazy if they even sit on it. My two actually refused the potty but wanted the toilet with their special seat and step. They were taller than average so it was more uncomfortable to squat.

My youngest self trained at 3 . Literally instant , no accidents- ever no ‘emergency’ dashes to the loo in the middle of things and dry at night a few months after that and has never had an accident . Just developed a fully functional adults bladder bang on three. I didn’t lift a finger . Would not entertain the idea at all prior to this . Maybe your Dd is the same?
leave all the stuff out , drop hints into conversation but don’t add pressure and make it a power struggle or a way to get attention?
I have always tended to let them learn organically , by a sort of information osmosis I don’t think I’ve ever ‘taught’ them anything. Except pushing the oldest to read when they were clearly in need of a shove .mine just copied me and learnt like that I think.

I wanted until my son was 3 years and 3 months (after failed attempts previous) and as he was ready it took one week. No stress, no arguments he just did it so I'd say wait a bit

Clearly, she's not ready. My son only started in September and he turned 4 in October. He's done really well with it because I waited til he was ready. We had the potty out for ages, read books and watched the poo land video on YouTube.

She might seem physically ready but if she won't sit on a potty or toilet then she's not mentally ready yet.

Tried with my twins in first lockdown, they were 2y10m. My son cracked it by day 2 but my dd wasn’t having any of it! 3 months later tried again and she was dry from the first day day and night. When they are ready it’s not stressful, you help them and encourage them but it’s led by them

I think this is what happens when you leave it too late - they get overly attached to nappies and find the idea of not having them scary and upsetting.

Your option now is basically just cold turkey and riding out the tantrums with bribery.

Bribery plus a star chart worked here, took about a week of accidents though, I had to buy lots of pants to keep spares.

Wee in the potty = one star and a chocolate button
Poo in the potty = two stars and a dark chocolate digestive

I’ve actually heard the opposite. Best thing to do it stop and wait until 3ish and she’ll actually want to do it and have no issues or anxieties about it.

Whilst it is good she's got some element of control I agree she's not ready.

My DS would never use the potty. He was just off 3 when it kicked in to use the toilet.

Leave it a while. Relax. She will do it when she is ready.

We potty trained SS 2.5 years and he was only allowed screen time, I.e the iPad when he sat on the potty and just ran around in the nude. It took about 5 days I think