My son (8) is the sweetest, kindest most empathetic boy you could ever meet. He is always so thoughtful of others. He will be the first person to run over and check if somebody is ok who has fallen down, ask somebody alone to join in and generally worry about other people.
My concern is, part of his sweetness (which he gets lots of compliments on from absolutely everybody he meets) is that he constantly compliments people, even people he doesn't know. But not just one or 2 compliments; its like his entire conversation with anybody is around complimenting them. An example is when he went to a friends for dinner, he spent the entire time complimenting the meal "did you make this from scratch" "its the nicest thing I've ever eaten" "You'll have to let my Mummy know what this is, I'd love to have it again" etc.
He talks to anybody and everybody, so this behavior goes from family members to people on the bus, complimenting their clothes.. people working on tills, teachers, other parents.
I know this doesn't sound like much, but complimenting does make up about 75% of his conversations with adults and most children. It is at the point where it actually (and I feel shame in saying this) makes me cringe and it comes across as brown nosing.
It also sometimes goes beyond this into people pleasing actions too. He has told me things that he has done, or given to others at school etc and he says "I didn't really want to do that / give them that etc, but it made them happy and thats the main thing"
I want him to give compliments when they are due, but to tone them down a bit.. at the same time I don't want to crush his little spirit.
I want him to feel worth in himself beyond the praise he gets constantly from everybody about being "such a lovely kind boy".
I want to make sure he doesn't engage in people pleasing behavior to the total detriment of his own happiness.
I want to make sure as he grows older he isn't taken down a wrong path by not knowing when to say no.
help!!!!!