Can you love one dc more than another?

[Trolleydolly71]

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yes when one is riiilllly playing up I love the quiet child more.....

I was worried like that when I was pregnant with DS2 but you really do love them as much - differently but as much. Despite the fact that DS2 was more squished up looking and harder work than DS1 I loved him just as deeply.

I think I love both of mine the same.

At certain times like if DS1 writes me a lovel letter or DS2 does things for the first time (e.g. smiling, saying Mamam etc.) where I find myself brimming with love for one or the other, but in the sense of that I would lay my life down in an instant for either of them, in that I look after them equally as well as each other, that I try to spend an equal amount of time with both, I love them both the same

Lovel? Love obviously....

No I love them all the same.

I think that there is always a favourite in every family how ever hard you try, but love is strong word, love all my children the same but 1 is much cuter and sweeter than the others so i do have my favourite, try not to treat them any different but it is hard!!! So in answer to your question no i think you will love no 2 as much as ds1.

I love both of my girls the same but I definitely get on with one much better than the other. She is a more laid back, go with the flow type of child, bit like me , whereas her sister is a strong willed, feisty, foot stamping type which I have found very difficult to deal with. But I wouldn't say I love her less for it, just find her more of a challenge, shall we say.

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Dont worry, I thought that when i was having my second. But as i heard once, your love will multipliy. Youll be fine!

I love both of mine in equally-but as other posters have said I find one more difficult to deal with than the other.

I was just about post a similar thread but actually coming from opposite direction - I'm in last few weeks of pg and 2yr old dd is driving me insane. I keep getting irritated by her and yelling at her for typical toddler behaviour. She loves to cuddle/climb all over me but can't cos my bump is too big so I just lift her off. I'm just so tired and my temper is really short. I feel really bad cos I'm scared that I'm pushing dd away and this will continue on after baby is born and dd will end up feeling rejected and I'll end up loving new baby more.

I found it hard with my 3 year old ds when dd was born for the same reasons. I did push him out a little as he was so boisterous-but it passes very quickly I promise.

Hiya. I too worried about this when pregnant with DD. She arrived 19 weeks ago and I love her every bit as much as my DS , this I found hard to imagine before she arrived but she is such a little bundle, i adore her and dS is so good with her i love him for it!!!
So dont worry we all have bundles of love to spread around!!!

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When I was expecting DD, I was worried in just the same way that you are, DH said 'don't worry, you'll love it just as much. In fact, probably more because DS will be 2 then'. Oh how we laughed. But you know what? I don't actually love DD more than DS but I definitely prefer being with her right now! However, I know that in two years, I will prefer being with DS!!!!

Hmmm...I'm not sure my 'love capacity' has expanded as it's supposed to.
I have days when I find it very hard to find enough love for them both.
Saying that I am alone and that has its own dynamic...nobody to share the load in any way.
I love mine differently - Ds1 and I are very different, while DS2 has the power to fill me with deep joy just by looking at me. I don't know why, it isn't fair and I hope Ds1 never reads this when he is old enough to read, but I do feel a more 'surface' love with Ds2. More instant I suppos. It could just be because I didn't feel so free to love Ds1, maybe...I can't say for sure.

I do adore them both but not in the same way. I have to work hard to hide it.

...but maybe that's not love, exactly - that's more about relating to them I think.

I don't find I have a favourite between my two. Of course, there will be certain days when I find one more annoying than another (just as there are days when I find my dh more annoying than other men!). But I find that it keeps shifting. If dd got on my nerves on Monday, it's a safe bet that ds will find a way to wind me up on Tuesday. And in between, throughout both Monday and Tuesday, I will find myself welling up with love for whichever one of them I happen to be looking at. Love is not a finite quantity. Being angry with somebody doesn't mean you don't love them.

Fllightattendant, that doesn't sound to me like a lack of love- it sounds more like being overstretched. Which may happen to all of us from time to time, particularly in your situation.

no, I don't love one of them more.

As many other posters have said, sometimes I find one of them harder than the other. This can last minutes, hours or weeks.

But I think that that is quite a different thing to actually loving one more. No matter how awful either of them was, and how angelic the other was, I couldn't even give one of them more cake, let alone decide which one to save from a burning building

I think its different types of love though

either of my kids can irritate the hell out of me

i don't love them less or differently though. I just want them to bugger off for a bit.

Thanks Cory