Worries about 8.5 month old - seems to be lagging socially and gross motor

[Carott1234]

Hi everyone,
I hope this is the right place to post this, I’m only gathering up the courage to post this. I have a beautiful little girl who is 8.5 month old and for the past 3 ish months i have had concerns regarding her gross motor and social skills. My main concerns are her lack of eye contact, repetitive behaviour and lack of mimicking. Also the lack of movement and desire to move.

Her eye contact varies. If I am close to her she won’t look at me unless I make a silly noise etc. And then that’s only briefly. If I walk around the kitchen etc she will follow me and if she’s banging her toys in the living area she will occasionally look back to see where I am, again only fleeting but I take it as a win. The reason I noticed it is because my friends babies watch her intensely, and my little girl has much more interest in the world around her and her toys than me. I don’t know if this is a ridiculous thing to be worried about but it seems that everywhere I look (Google is horrible I agree) it seems to scream that this is a problem and all babies must give eye contact?

The repetitive behaviour is really noticeable. She flaps her arms all day long, twirls her ankles, squeals as she lifts her arms in the air and flaps them, stiffens especially when lying down and I go to pick her up but generally when she’s excited or frustrated or really any time it can happen too. She also scratches everything! And in the past few days will rock on me and bang her head against my chest. I can stop her sometimes but then she might just go back to doing it.

she clapped for a few days a couple of weeks ago, sometimes appropriately, sometimes randomly but this seems to have stopped now. She did babble - mostly bababa but this has also stopped. She did wave around 2 months ago and it seemed to be appropriate but now has also stopped.

She has mastered rolling and can sit independently but has absolutely no intention of crawling and physically can’t hold her body weight up.

She will respond to her name pretty consistently, unless I am right beside her (which I suppose serves no purpose anyway) and responds when others call her mostly. She won’t lift her arms to me or in response to me but she knows that I’ll lift her when I put my arms to her as she lifts her head. She will socially smile at me but just cries at strangers now, and is generally wary of people she doesn’t spend much time with.

sorry for the long post - essentially wondering if I’m driving myself crazy for nothing, worrying that she’s delayed, or if there’s something in it?

thanks in advance!

Bump

Crawling isn’t considered a milestone. Not all babies crawl. She might end up bum shuffling or going straight to walking. My oldest didn’t crawl until he was nearly 11 months, then walked at 12 months.

She’s still very young to be worried about eye contact. Does she track things and reach and grab?

Making strange is really common at this age, it’s shows she recognizes the difference between people she knows well like you, and others.

She sounds pretty normal I think. Talk with health visitor if you are really concerned. I picked up on you mentioning appropriate times to clap, I think that throw away comment might reveal something about your expectations? It doesn't do any good to compare babies with your friends as they really are all different with a wide range of normal. My son didn't crawl until 14m and didn't walk until 19m, he's absolutely fine. Have you had eyes and sight tested? That might be a good place to start.🙂

Not an expert , just an older parent . I think you’re looking too hard and comparing her to other babies when each child already will have their own personality . My two children for example : my daughter would sit and stare blankly into space and stroke things to enjoy the texture rather than ‘play’ as such and she’s an adult now and incredibly social and bubbly and successful. DS was born with head and neck control , army crawled at 12 weeks was sitting up about 4 months , could spoon feed himself at 6.5 months , walked at 10 months . He’s actually very autistic and is really struggling with speech, sleep and emotional regulation. It’s too young to call. Spend lots of time bouncing and singing and blowing raspberries on her tummy and making eye contact when she laughs and you’ll probably see it there, She’s just too busy exploring this exciting world to keep looking at you. Being nervous of strangers around this age is completely normal too .

I do think your expectations are a bit unrealistic.

The appropriate clapping and waving - my DS has only just got that at 18 months. He clapped and waved just after 1 I think, but not in the “appropriate” situations. She’s only just learning how to move her limbs, flapping around randomly is very normal.

Babies all develop at different rates, nothing is really standing out to me. If you’re worried about her vision or hearing you could get them checked, but there’s not much else that can be “done” at this stage other than watch and wait.

Please try not to worry. It stands out to me that you’ve been worried for 3 months… so your little one must have been very young when you first became concerned. Try to have a think about how much this worrying is affecting you, and consider if you need help for anxiety.

It sounds like you don't know what is normal for an 8 month old, there's no exact timescale for them to develop along. Nothing you've said is alarming at all, other than how much you're worrying

My 9 month old cab crawl but can't roll.

Babies are weird, and fairly different to one another.

You'll have a 9-12 month review soon.

My baby is the same age. He can do sod all really. Babies don't do much at that age.

He can roll and sit up, has learned to clap this week, but not much else. Doesn't even react to his name that much. His sister was walking by 8mths and could feed herself (bottle, obviously) around 4mths. My son refuses to even pick up his own bottle. He just shrieks all day.

Babies do all sorts of random things and it's not an issue most of the time. I'd give it another 6mths before starting worrying. They all get stuff at different stages.

Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate you all taking time out of your day to reply!

I really just wanted reassurance that others wouldn’t necessarily be concerned because I am a worry wort in general life, and about her. I also don’t let it affect my life with her and I love every moment- just I suppose it’s all been niggling at me when I sit down to think about her. I realise comparison is not a good thing, but it’s hard not too. I agree she probably just needs more time.

I also don’t expect her to appropriately clap and wave at all! It’s just that she did. But I would be happy if she just waved and clapped randomly, however she stopped doing those things totally - hopefully it’ll come back?

I don’t think there’s issues with hearing or eyesight as she can feed herself really well - we do a bit of BLW and she can lift a squished blueberry and get it into her mouth no problem and she can hear a key turn in a door and will look to see who is coming in.

she also reaches for her toys and loves lifting flaps on her books.

I did try to put it all to rest with my health visitor btw - she didn’t even look at my baby though and said ‘if you’re worried, I am’ which is nice to hear she listened I guess but didn’t in any way ask questions or assess what she can do, so she told me that she would refer to community paediatrics but the waiting list is a year. So I didn’t find that helpful to be honest.

thank you all for all your advice though, it’s good to hear from other parents that babies just differ and I guess that’s okay!

I did try to put it all to rest with my health visitor btw - she didn’t even look at my baby though and said ‘if you’re worried, I am’ which is nice to hear she listened I guess but didn’t in any way ask questions or assess what she can do, so she told me that she would refer to community paediatrics but the waiting list is a year. So I didn’t find that helpful to be honest.

Way to worry a new mum... ffs! She sounds kind hearted but fucking useless

Yea not ideal! I was so looking forward to her telling me I was being ridiculous - unfortunately she did not!

@Carott1234 Hey. Do you have any updates on your little one. My son does hand and feet twirling and has other weird quirks. I’m so worried myself too
x

@Carott1234 how is your little girl doing now? Has she been seen by a paediatrician?

At this stage they’re all over the place. Our almost 1 year old is crawling, sitting, standing and cruising. Not walking yet, but also absolutely no words, maybe a babble or two. Has never been a hand clapper, but does respond to look at noises now and enjoys some hand flapping too. I remember my daughters GP said “I’d like her to have 10 words by age 1” 🤣. I find this completely laughable now. I know 3 year olds without 10 words and they’re totally fine. Milestones just scare parents. If there is a problem it’s usually more evident by 18 months, or so I’ve heard. Try to block out some of the noise for now. I guess the other question is, if there were an issue, would it change anything you’re already doing at this age?

Hi, how are your little ones getting on now?

Hi OP! My 8 month old has very similar behaviours to those displayed by your daughter although he's never waved or clapped. He does lift his arms in response to me reaching out to him, but has very little interest in interacting apart from that and is hard to engage.

Can I please check how your little one is now?